THQ Furthers Homoerotic Games Drive

Conan revealed.

Posted by Staff
Homosexual men seem to really enjoy games. We should know, as one of SPOnG’s most avid RPG gamers and writers was (and presumably still is) a tail-gunner of some repute. Add this to the homosexual hangout that is Gaming Age Forums, and there’s quite a profit to be had rendering digitally rendered man-flesh.

And today, THQ announced what looks set to be the third homoerotic masterpiece, following on from Sega’s Spartan and Rockstar’s The Warriors with news that it has acquired the Conan license.

The deal, penned overnight with Paradox Entertainment and Conan Properties International, sees THQ scoop the rights to make games with a musclebound man in a loincloth for all current and next generation home consoles as well as handheld and mobile devices.

“Combining the epic adventures and stunning environments found throughout the Conan Universe with next-gen video game technology will add a whole new chapter to Conan's rich history," said Germaine Gioia, vice president of licensing at THQ, neglecting to mention that it expands THQ’s pink offering of those wrestling games they love to make.

Are you gay? Do you love videogames? Let us know in the forum, handily located at the foot of this very page.
Companies:

Comments

Joji 10 Nov 2005 17:37
1/16
If the games re based off the comic or novels then they could be good games if done properly..

Truth be told we love to play as sword wielding, long haired warriors. Prince of Persia series, Gaunlet and now more Conan are just developers rediscovering the roots of 80's gaming and improving upon them, for new and old audiences. Not a bad thing providing they are done well and earn your money.

My my, THQ. How much you've grown and raised your game since cheesy crap like Harry's Humongous Adventure back on 16bit consoles. Now that was a really bad game. LOL.

Think I've seen a video of this Conan game from E3 and it looks really good. I'll look forward to finding out more about the mystery of Conan.


(Oh, girls, girls, girls, love them)

LUPOS 10 Nov 2005 18:20
2/16
i am not now nor have i ever been gay, however i have had two friends who where both... how shall iu put this politley.... flamers! and they where both huge on video games... of course one of them really liekd to listen to the spice girls and peter gabriel while playign his games... but i digress... for lack of a point.

____
more comments below our sponsor's message
DoctorDee 10 Nov 2005 18:29
3/16
LUPOS wrote:
of course one of them really liekd to listen to the spice girls and peter gabriel while playign his games... but i digress... for lack of a point.

I am not averse to listening to the spice girls while flexing my joystick myself.

But then, I'm too sexy for my skirt. Sorry... erm.... shirt. So sexy it hurts.
LUPOS 10 Nov 2005 22:05
4/16
while writing a bit of an essay on the future of gaming and this "convergence" thing (for my own entertainment really) I actualy used the refference "as the spice girls say: two become one".

I have some of the most horrible taste in music of anyone you may ever meet
most embarasing purchases:
"vanilla ice and MC hammer back to back"
"Aqua the first one, dotn remeber the album name"
but truth be told i actually have a very shamefull love of all things "rap rock" ... korn and linkin park and the like... its terrible... but i've said to much...
:)
____
Stoobie 11 Nov 2005 08:02
5/16
Yawn - yes, i'm gay, yes I love video games - so what? It doesn't mean I only play games with half naked men in them - although luckily it meant I didnt succumb to Lara Crofts breasts and her terrible games!

DoctorDee 11 Nov 2005 08:28
6/16
Stoobie wrote:
Yawn - yes, i'm gay, yes I love video games - so what?

You correlate our painstaking statistical research.

As for the games with half-naked menv in them, surely you enjoy them as bit. At least as much as we enjoy watching Lara Croft's but, and hearing her go "uuuughh" as we (purporselfully) walk her into walls.

If not, that'd be like, totally straight, dude.
DoctorDee 11 Nov 2005 08:34
7/16
LUPOS wrote:
i actually have a very shamefull love of all things "rap rock" ... korn and linkin park and the like... its terrible... but i've said to much...


I sometimes ride that train myself. I like Linkin Park and a bit of RATM, Chilli Peppers, Deft Ones. But at present, I'm listening to nothing but Guitar Wolf.

In fact, the truth is out here
king skins 11 Nov 2005 10:35
8/16
DoctorDee wrote:
I like Linkin Park and a bit of RATM


That is the first time I have ever seen Limp Biscuit and Rage in the same sentence (twice now damn it)

Something wrong about that
DoctorDee 11 Nov 2005 10:53
9/16
king skins wrote:
DoctorDee wrote:
I like Linkin Park and a bit of RATM

That is the first time I have ever seen Limp Biscuit and Rage in the same sentence (twice now damn it)

Whoa there!

I mentioned Linkin Park and Rage in the same sentence.

I never mentioned THAT OTHER BAND. Nor would I.

king skins 11 Nov 2005 11:16
10/16
sorry brain is obviously still asleep this morning... but Linkin Park aren't much higher in my opinion


God danm it, I have a limp biscuit song stuck in my head now!!!!

it just one of those days,
where you just don't wanna wake up,
everybody sucks,
every..... something or other....


and that's all the lyrics I know :(
DoctorDee 11 Nov 2005 11:24
11/16
king skins wrote:
sorry brain is obviously still asleep this morning... but Linkin Park aren't much higher in my opinion

In my world the two are poles apart.

and that's all the lyrics I know :(


Which is four lines more than I know ;-)

Funny we ended up talking about a Limp Biscuit in a gaymes thread. Their name always reminds me of the inevitable result of the game that they play at 'public' schools. Where he who comes last gets to eat the man-milk morsel.
config 11 Nov 2005 12:57
12/16
This piece completely fails to mention big, gay THQ's other big, gay licence - Spongebob Squarepants!

Oh, and was Lee really a tail gunner? I never would have guessed! ;-)
LUPOS 11 Nov 2005 13:00
13/16
the dif between linkin and limp is an absurd distance.... im sure ive yelled out stirngs of profanities after being sniped 5 time in a row in halo that had better rhyme structure that that twit fred durst...
i know ya'll be love'n this s**t right HERE
the L.I.M.P. biskit is right HERE
genius!

your the second person in less than a week to mention this guitar wolf thing to me, really need to look into it.

and incase you hadnt heard of it (back on the rap rock thing) there is an album called "loud rocks"(came out round 99-00 i think) which is a compelation of several metal bands redoing old rap songs with the original creators.
syystem of a down and wu-tang doing shame on a nigga and static-X and Deap prez.... there is soem crazy town to suffer through but in all pretty good s**t.
______
DoctorDee 11 Nov 2005 18:11
14/16
LUPOS wrote:
i know ya'll be love'n this s**t right HERE
the L.I.M.P. biskit is right HERE


What that rhyme needed was the word QUEER.

And there we are, right back on topic.

your the second person in less than a week to mention this guitar wolf thing to me, really need to look into it.


They aren't at all Rap/Metal. They are Japanese trash punk garage noise merchants with an overwhelming love of Joan Jett and the Ramones.

I'll put some where you can get em, and email you over the weekend.

there is an album called "loud rocks"(came out round 99-00 i think) which is a compelation of several metal bands redoing old rap songs with the original creators.


You have, I'm guessing, the seminal Judgement Night soundtrack?
LUPOS 11 Nov 2005 18:21
15/16
They aren't at all Rap/Metal. They are Japanese trash punk garage noise merchants with an overwhelming love of Joan Jett and the Ramones.

sounds good to me, i was actually at a bloodhound gang concert 2 weeks back and the ban opening for them was "electric eel shock", which i really enjoyed. its painfulyl simplistic engRish jap punk. catchy if nothing else

DoctorDee wrote:
I'll put some where you can get em, and email you over the weekend.


but where i can get em i hope you mean legal purchase!! ;)

DoctorDee wrote:
You have, I'm guessing, the seminal Judgement Night soundtrack?


you bet your unnecesarily angry white boy ass i do!

____
DoctorDee 12 Nov 2005 08:46
16/16
LUPOS wrote:
but where i can get em i hope you mean legal purchase!! ;)


Of COURSE I did.

I bought several of their albums at Amoeba Records in Haight-Ashbury in sunny San Francisco, a couple more at Amoeba on Sunset in LA. Two more I bought a couple months ago at Tower on Broadway. And the last two (ironaically their first two) I bought from Amazon.com last week.

I'd just like to say that I think it's freaking annoying and offensive that a good brit-kid like me should have to export hard earned pounds sterling to a country ruled by an insane egotistical retard, just to get cool ass J-Punk records.
Posting of new comments is now locked for this page.