Microsoft's Peter Moore has announced what has to be the best news to come out of E3 for those of you stuck in Maidenhead with only a broadband connection for company, outlining how you'll be able to play the Xbox 360 demos from the comfort of your own pizza box and beer can-entrenched sofa of loneliness.
Speaking in a recent official magazine interview, Moore explained “"It is our goal to bring E3 home to Xbox Live members as best we can, all the videos and the news as quickly as possible. We will give you the flavour of what's going on, on the show floor and some of the stuff that we are showing and debuting here. Xbox Live members should be able to play many of the demos that even the celebrities will be testing out at E3.”
Which, you have to agree, as you wonder about all those times when your girlfriend really gave you enough warnings that she was going to leave you for coming home late drunk and badly playing Halo 2 while shouting abuse at American children, is fairly fantastic. Of course, it might only be one demo. Then it would be 'a bit shit'. But given the dumptruck of diamonds Microsoft has no doubt committed to thunder-stealing next month, your expectations should be set to ready-to-be-impressed.
As more of what you can hold onto as justification for choosing playing online videogames over love, life and general happiness emerges, we'll let you know. In the meantime, if you go the doctor and tell him you can't get on the bus because of panic attacks, he'll prescribe something to help. Simply mix what he gives you with half a bottle of vodka and Xbox Live and we're sure the bitch will soon realise who the real winner is. Who want to sleep with an estate agent with a 316i anyway?