With the release of the final E3 floorplans yesterday, the Internet is alight with over-excited fanboys planning their 2006 E3 attack. SPOnG staff, it has to be said, are actually pretty pumped about what we are going to see and experience at the show this year.
We will (hopefully - finally) get our mitts on some playable PS3 demos, we will get to play some wonderful Revolution games and be blown away (we hope) by the controller, and we will hear a lot about how Microsoft aren’t really bothered about not being big in Japan.
However, what concerns us, perhaps more than anything else, is the 'even-for-us' Herculean task of managing to deal with all the free lager on offer. If we were to take every drink offered, we would die. Believe us, we have tried it in the past. The key to a successful E3, we have found through extensive research and years of physical and emotional pain, our secret that we are willing to share with you now is this – only drink one of three alcoholic beverages offered to you. Take the rest if offence might be caused, but just leave them and drink water instead. And don’t drink Red Bull. Ever.
So, with all this in mind we were happy to see that the guys over on Gamedaily have devised a clever E3 drinking game – in which you take a drink every time Sony, Microsoft or Nintendo come out with one of their well known by now ‘E3-isms’.
If you aren't lucky enough to be making it out to the E3 free-drinkathon this year, you might want to drown your sorrows whilst you try this fun game as you follow SPOnG’s up-to-the-minute coverage of each of the three main E3 conferences from our team on the ground - who, it should be made clear, have all taken a vow of sobriety. Well, they've all vowed to stay sober until 6pm of each day of the show at least. What you choose as your poison for this fun E3 drinking game is your business. Although if you die of acute alcohol poisoning, we cannot be held responsible.
Microsoft
Last year's Microsoft press con was a mixture of good and bad. On one hand, the company gave out 5,000 limited edition Xbox 360 face plates and thousands of people made 100% profits off eBay, but on the other, the registration tent really sucked, the audience was littered with actors that cheered whenever anything was shown/said, Perfect Dark Zero was nowhere to be found, and the games didn't look all that impressive. Actually, come to think of it, Microsoft's press con was pretty bad, but this year could be really sweet, what with second generation games, Halo 3 rumors, and possible Xbox Live Arcade announcements (to trump Nintendo's Virtual Console).
Take a sip when/if:
The planted actors cheer.
J Allard lightly jogs onto the stage.
It's Peter Moore's turn to speak.
Microsoft plays a cut-scene in which Bill Gates/Steve Ballmer pretend to be kids.
Microsoft discusses Viva Pinata (take another sip if five minutes pass and Microsoft is still discussing Viva Pinata).
Microsoft says that Viva Pinata is its biggest game of 2006.
Microsoft shows off a Rare title that isn't Viva Pinata.
Someone bashes Sony.
Peter Moore flaunts his latest tat.
Halo 3/Forerunner is shown.
Microsoft discusses the battle in Japan and how it's not giving up the fight.
They drag out someone from Square Enix, who then proceeds to announce a PS2 game that's being 'enhanced' for Xbox 360.
Microsoft knocks Blu-Ray and/or discusses the Xbox 360's HD-DVD add on.
Someone from EA demos a game or is involved in a segment starring a pro athlete/group of pro athletes.
Nintendo
Microsoft and Sony do a decent job, but there's no hotter ticket than Nintendo's pre E3 press con. In the past, Nintendo's presentations (more like house parties) are riotous affairs where every closet Nintendo fan elects to act like a teenage schoolgirl that's just caught a glimpse of her favorite boy band.
This year is going to be off the chain because Nintendo will not only discuss Revolution in great detail, but it'll also show off some games and possibly announce a launch date (we suppose). We're very curious how the company plans to demo these titles, simply because it's going to be interesting to see if they can effectively demonstrate the controller to such a large audience. But regardless of what happens, expect all of the attendees (except us) to scream their heads off and then run back to their hotels and bash Nintendo in forums so they remain 'cool'.
Take a sip when/if:
Reggie is introduced.
Reggie pulls a portable system from his breast pocket (we're betting on it being a DS Lite).
Reggie mentions "kicking ass."
Reggie discusses how Nintendo's learned from its mistakes.
The audience thunderously applauds (this will happen quite a bit).
Someone mentions anything about 'pillars'.
Someone mentions how huge DS is, particularly in Japan.
Someone discusses Nintendo's Blue Ocean strategy.
DS Lite is shown.
New Super Mario Bros. is shown.
Someone discusses market disruption.
Someone doesn't mention Microsoft or Sony by name.
Nintendo shoves random videogame celebrities on stage and forces them to battle Bill Trinnen.
Iwata tells jokes.
Iwata says "Nintendo Difference."
The Revolution console is shown.
Nintendo finally unveils the Revolution's official name.
Nintendo reveals a Revolution launch date.
A Revolution game is shown.
Nintendo says anything about the Game Boy Micro.
The classic gaming download service is shown/discussed.
Miyamoto hits the stage (take two more sips if he comes out with props and/or is dressed like a videogame character).
Sony
Up until last year, Sony's press conferences were quite drab and uninteresting. Rather than break out the games and dazzle its audience, Kaz Hirai and company would lull us to sleep with nonsensical graphs and crazed psychobabble where they overhype their technology. But in 2005, Sony wowed the crowd by showing off several PS3 'demos' which turned out to be nothing more than slick looking FMVs, so there was still a lot of BS, except the BS was at the time easily digestible.
This year, we expect Sony to let it all hang out. There should be plenty of PS3 goodies on stage, though we're not so sure if we'll be seeing gameplay or not. There's bound to be a couple graphs tossed into the presentation for good measure as well as plenty of talk about how Sony's been head butting its competition for more than a decade, but we also think that the company's on the right track to producing a kick ass pre E3 press con, and with that being said, we expect some fireworks...and lies.
Take a sip when/if:
Kaz Hirai comes on stage.
Kaz takes any shots at Nintendo (take another sip if he says the words "gaming ghetto").
Kaz criticizes Microsoft's Xbox 360 worldwide launch.
Sony displays a graph/chart of any kind.
Said charts show how much more powerful the PS3 is to any electronics device on the planet and possibly the universe.
Kaz refers to units shipped (take two sips if he actually mentions units sold...this won't actually happen).
Kutaragi takes the stage.
Kaz/Kutaragi make some asinine claim about how the PS3 is going to be like/transport us to [insert impossible claim here].
Sony trashes Microsoft or Nintendo.
Epic shows off an Unreal demo.
David Jaffe comes out to discuss God of War 2.
David Jaffe is wearing a Jaws t-shirt.
Sony shows a PS3 demo (take two sips for every demo that doesn't look real time).
Phil Harrison takes the stage.
Sony mentions micro transactions.
Sony shows Warhawk.
Sony shows MotorStorm.
Sony shows Killzone (perform a toast if last year's footage was in fact real time).
Sony shows a demo with rubber ducks.
Anything about the PS3's price is revealed (finish your cup/bottle if it's $500 or more).
The PS3's controller is shown (take ten sips if it's still the boomerang).
Someone from EA demos a game or is involved in a segment where a pro athlete/group of pro athletes take the stage.
Sony announces new features for its PSP.
A new PSP title is announced/shown.
A representative from Insomniac or Naughty Dog demonstrate a PS3 title.
Sony actually has a sound online strategy. Hell, drink if Sony actually has an online strategy.
(source: Gamedaily)
We will (hopefully - finally) get our mitts on some playable PS3 demos, we will get to play some wonderful Revolution games and be blown away (we hope) by the controller, and we will hear a lot about how Microsoft aren’t really bothered about not being big in Japan.
However, what concerns us, perhaps more than anything else, is the 'even-for-us' Herculean task of managing to deal with all the free lager on offer. If we were to take every drink offered, we would die. Believe us, we have tried it in the past. The key to a successful E3, we have found through extensive research and years of physical and emotional pain, our secret that we are willing to share with you now is this – only drink one of three alcoholic beverages offered to you. Take the rest if offence might be caused, but just leave them and drink water instead. And don’t drink Red Bull. Ever.
So, with all this in mind we were happy to see that the guys over on Gamedaily have devised a clever E3 drinking game – in which you take a drink every time Sony, Microsoft or Nintendo come out with one of their well known by now ‘E3-isms’.
If you aren't lucky enough to be making it out to the E3 free-drinkathon this year, you might want to drown your sorrows whilst you try this fun game as you follow SPOnG’s up-to-the-minute coverage of each of the three main E3 conferences from our team on the ground - who, it should be made clear, have all taken a vow of sobriety. Well, they've all vowed to stay sober until 6pm of each day of the show at least. What you choose as your poison for this fun E3 drinking game is your business. Although if you die of acute alcohol poisoning, we cannot be held responsible.
Microsoft
Last year's Microsoft press con was a mixture of good and bad. On one hand, the company gave out 5,000 limited edition Xbox 360 face plates and thousands of people made 100% profits off eBay, but on the other, the registration tent really sucked, the audience was littered with actors that cheered whenever anything was shown/said, Perfect Dark Zero was nowhere to be found, and the games didn't look all that impressive. Actually, come to think of it, Microsoft's press con was pretty bad, but this year could be really sweet, what with second generation games, Halo 3 rumors, and possible Xbox Live Arcade announcements (to trump Nintendo's Virtual Console).
Take a sip when/if:
The planted actors cheer.
J Allard lightly jogs onto the stage.
It's Peter Moore's turn to speak.
Microsoft plays a cut-scene in which Bill Gates/Steve Ballmer pretend to be kids.
Microsoft discusses Viva Pinata (take another sip if five minutes pass and Microsoft is still discussing Viva Pinata).
Microsoft says that Viva Pinata is its biggest game of 2006.
Microsoft shows off a Rare title that isn't Viva Pinata.
Someone bashes Sony.
Peter Moore flaunts his latest tat.
Halo 3/Forerunner is shown.
Microsoft discusses the battle in Japan and how it's not giving up the fight.
They drag out someone from Square Enix, who then proceeds to announce a PS2 game that's being 'enhanced' for Xbox 360.
Microsoft knocks Blu-Ray and/or discusses the Xbox 360's HD-DVD add on.
Someone from EA demos a game or is involved in a segment starring a pro athlete/group of pro athletes.
Nintendo
Microsoft and Sony do a decent job, but there's no hotter ticket than Nintendo's pre E3 press con. In the past, Nintendo's presentations (more like house parties) are riotous affairs where every closet Nintendo fan elects to act like a teenage schoolgirl that's just caught a glimpse of her favorite boy band.
This year is going to be off the chain because Nintendo will not only discuss Revolution in great detail, but it'll also show off some games and possibly announce a launch date (we suppose). We're very curious how the company plans to demo these titles, simply because it's going to be interesting to see if they can effectively demonstrate the controller to such a large audience. But regardless of what happens, expect all of the attendees (except us) to scream their heads off and then run back to their hotels and bash Nintendo in forums so they remain 'cool'.
Take a sip when/if:
Reggie is introduced.
Reggie pulls a portable system from his breast pocket (we're betting on it being a DS Lite).
Reggie mentions "kicking ass."
Reggie discusses how Nintendo's learned from its mistakes.
The audience thunderously applauds (this will happen quite a bit).
Someone mentions anything about 'pillars'.
Someone mentions how huge DS is, particularly in Japan.
Someone discusses Nintendo's Blue Ocean strategy.
DS Lite is shown.
New Super Mario Bros. is shown.
Someone discusses market disruption.
Someone doesn't mention Microsoft or Sony by name.
Nintendo shoves random videogame celebrities on stage and forces them to battle Bill Trinnen.
Iwata tells jokes.
Iwata says "Nintendo Difference."
The Revolution console is shown.
Nintendo finally unveils the Revolution's official name.
Nintendo reveals a Revolution launch date.
A Revolution game is shown.
Nintendo says anything about the Game Boy Micro.
The classic gaming download service is shown/discussed.
Miyamoto hits the stage (take two more sips if he comes out with props and/or is dressed like a videogame character).
Sony
Up until last year, Sony's press conferences were quite drab and uninteresting. Rather than break out the games and dazzle its audience, Kaz Hirai and company would lull us to sleep with nonsensical graphs and crazed psychobabble where they overhype their technology. But in 2005, Sony wowed the crowd by showing off several PS3 'demos' which turned out to be nothing more than slick looking FMVs, so there was still a lot of BS, except the BS was at the time easily digestible.
This year, we expect Sony to let it all hang out. There should be plenty of PS3 goodies on stage, though we're not so sure if we'll be seeing gameplay or not. There's bound to be a couple graphs tossed into the presentation for good measure as well as plenty of talk about how Sony's been head butting its competition for more than a decade, but we also think that the company's on the right track to producing a kick ass pre E3 press con, and with that being said, we expect some fireworks...and lies.
Take a sip when/if:
Kaz Hirai comes on stage.
Kaz takes any shots at Nintendo (take another sip if he says the words "gaming ghetto").
Kaz criticizes Microsoft's Xbox 360 worldwide launch.
Sony displays a graph/chart of any kind.
Said charts show how much more powerful the PS3 is to any electronics device on the planet and possibly the universe.
Kaz refers to units shipped (take two sips if he actually mentions units sold...this won't actually happen).
Kutaragi takes the stage.
Kaz/Kutaragi make some asinine claim about how the PS3 is going to be like/transport us to [insert impossible claim here].
Sony trashes Microsoft or Nintendo.
Epic shows off an Unreal demo.
David Jaffe comes out to discuss God of War 2.
David Jaffe is wearing a Jaws t-shirt.
Sony shows a PS3 demo (take two sips for every demo that doesn't look real time).
Phil Harrison takes the stage.
Sony mentions micro transactions.
Sony shows Warhawk.
Sony shows MotorStorm.
Sony shows Killzone (perform a toast if last year's footage was in fact real time).
Sony shows a demo with rubber ducks.
Anything about the PS3's price is revealed (finish your cup/bottle if it's $500 or more).
The PS3's controller is shown (take ten sips if it's still the boomerang).
Someone from EA demos a game or is involved in a segment where a pro athlete/group of pro athletes take the stage.
Sony announces new features for its PSP.
A new PSP title is announced/shown.
A representative from Insomniac or Naughty Dog demonstrate a PS3 title.
Sony actually has a sound online strategy. Hell, drink if Sony actually has an online strategy.
(source: Gamedaily)
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Comments
BlackEyedFish 20 Apr 2006 09:49
1/2
What is Nintendo's Blue Ocean Strategy?
billson 20 Apr 2006 14:23
2/2
Have to say guys, sounds like a plan! Halo 3 i dont reckon will be shown for some odd reason, they might wait untill the microsoft trade show which i think is in August or September.