My name is David and I’m 28. I’ve been playing videogames for most of my life. I’ve owned pretty much every Nintendo console and enjoyed a vast number of Nintendo games.
I’m here to confess to you that I have never played an Animal Crossing game. I’ll be even more honest and say that it had never crossed my mind to play one. I thought Animal Crossing was a game for children.
The irony isn’t lost on me. I’ve spent countless hours on games that appear to be designed for kids. I’ve defended myself to friends and family against the accusation that all games meant for adults have blood and guns in them.
So I’m not quite sure why I drew the line at Animal Crossing.
SPOnG has now said ‘enough is enough’. The powers that be no longer want an Animal Crossing Virgin on the team. Svend said such nice things about New Leaf, after all. To put this right I've been sent a copy and asked to document my progress via a diary.
This is that Diary.
So over the next couple of months, I’ll be committing myself to Animal Crossing: New Leaf - a game that I know pretty much nothing about - and documenting everything I get up to.
Enjoy.
Day 1
It started on a train with a difficult question.
Rover, who confusingly looks like a cat, came over to ask me the time. In real life this question would have sent shivers down my spine as in London “Have you got the time” usually means “Give me your fucking phone”.
I was confident in myself, though, as I could probably beat the shit out of Rover.
He (Rover's a boy's name, right?) then asks what my name is.
This is where I struggled. Now usually I’d put my own name down, but I stopped to consider whether I wanted to be in this game. Did I want all my decision dictated by my own stupid morals?
No, not this time. I wanted to be someone else. I wanted to be a hard-hitting character who didn’t pander to every request the game made of me. I didn’t want to always be the good guy. I needed a name that would reflect my alter ego in this cartoon world.
I chose 'Gregg'.
I’m not sure why. I’m even more unsure why I opted for the double ‘g’. I regretted it the moment I confirmed. But it’s too late now.
It was a far easier decision to name the town I was to spend my time in. ‘The Hood’ was an easy choice. I’d heard so much about ‘The Hood’ from TV, Films and my rap LPs and always wanted to visit. This was my chance!
On arrival to The Hood I got to see my playable character for the first time. Jesus Christ does he look like a dickhead.
I’ll be honest, this hasn’t been a great experience for my first day. So far I’ve been bothered by a Cat with a Dog's name and now I have the pressure of being mayor of a town full of overly-happy animals. I’m not sure I’m ready for such responsibility.
So I inform the townspeople that they are confused.
It didn’t make a difference.