Opinion// Dan's Dares - 2013 - Portable Gaming and DLC

Posted 12 Jan 2013 11:30 by
Last time we were together I told you what was good in gaming: Gears of War. This time, Iím going to share some of the things that really grind my gears, starting with portable gaming.

First and foremost, staring at a small screen gives me a headache. Headaches hurt. Gaming shouldnít hurt. Now 5 years ago, when someone said ĎPortable Gamingí, it was all about the PSP or whichever of the 24392472 models of DS was around 5 years ago (STOP MAKING DIFFERENT MODELS). Things have changed a little bit recently, people are all ĎAndroid phones/tablets and iPhones/iPads are gaming devicesí, well, no. No they arenít.

Some of you will try to tell me "You can play games on them, so that makes them gaming devices." Well, Iíd like to dispute that. You could play Snake on a Nokia 3310, you wouldnít have classed that as a "Gaming Device", would ya?

Claiming that your iPad is a Gaming Device just seems daft to me. You might well play Angry Birds on the 20 minute bus ride in to work, and thatís fine, but it isnít proper gaming.

And yes, I probably have used a bad example there, letís say you play GTA on your iPad, it still stands. If you were to sit down long enough to have a good session, where would you be? Yeah, you might take a three-hour train ride to London, but how many times a year do you do that? Enough to justify buying a tablet rather than a 360? I wouldnít say so.

For the most part, if youíre putting in hours on a tablet, youíre probably sat at home. Why not just use whichever console you own, and if you donít own one, yet youíre using a tablet for gaming, what are you doing? Sell your tablet and replace it with a 360.

Theyíre more powerful, graphically advanced, and letís be fair; it isnít easy to play a game on a touch screen. My point is, tablets arenít designed as gaming devices, itís just a small bonus that youíre able to blow up structures by flinging birds from catapults.

Portable gaming aside, what else doesnít sit well with me? DLC, thatís what. So a brand new game is released, I donít know, letís say CoD 17 (or whatever number weíre up to.)

I go out to my local GAME, pick up a copy, pay the bloke behind the counter £45 and think right then, Iím all sorted and ready to ĎPwN sum n00bzí (people that speak like that piss me off actually, letís pretend I didnít type that). Everythingís fine for maybe seven days? One week after buying my game, I load it up only to find a message Ė ĎDOWNLOAD DLC NOW FOR NEW MAPSí. Excuse me, DLC?

Yep, DLC. So Iíve paid £45 for my game and now they want me to spend a further £12ís worth of MS points for a few new maps. Obviously they knew these maps were going to be released before the game itself came out Ė they canít have developed four or five brand new maps from scratch in one week. So, why do I have to pay extra for them?

Should I bother buying this DLC or not? Well, I found myself in a party with a bunch of friends searching for a game. As the lobby loaded, I found that Iíd been chucked out of it? Whatís going on here? Well, all my mates had already bought the DLC, and the map that came up was one of the new ones. Great, so now Iíve got to play alone unless I pay the £12.

Thatís not the end though! Over the next two months, thereís another two or three map packs to be released! Letís think about it, 12x3+45 = £81.




£81 for fuck's sake!

(If I could capitalise numbers, I wouldíve done) for a game, how can that be justified? Well if you ask me, it canít. £45 is a fair (if slightly overpriced) cost for a AAA game, and it should include ALL of the game Ė not splatter DLC about that shouldíve been included in the original purchase. Fuck you game companies, fuck you. Oh, and for the record, I havenít bought a CoD game since World at War, I think theyíre shit.

On a separate note, anyone that blames games for child obesity is an absolute dipshit. Dare I say it? Of course I dare - itís the parents fault. What kind of kid has the cash to buy themselves a console, let alone the aforementioned overpriced games? And if you have bought your kid a console, donít let them sit on it all day.

See you next time.

The opinion expressed in this article is that of the author and does not reflect those of SPOnG.com except when it does.

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gingineer 20 Jan 2013 21:15
totally agree about the DLC. its unfair for those who pick up the game late who are left with the choice to spend £36 to catch up on all the maps!
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