Reviews// Frobisher Says

The PlayStation Vita launched with a large selection of games - many of them first-party exclusives - that demonstrated the unique capabilities of the handheld. But the title that arguably stood out the most wasn’t even available to buy in stores. It was the red-faced cartoony upstart that was Frobisher, and his little Simon Says experience.

I say ‘experience’ with some form of authority, because Frobisher Says is absolutely bonkers. The micro-game compilation has now become the poster child of Sony’s digital distribution offering for the PlayStation Vita, with the recent news that the base game can be downloaded for absolutely free. So with that in mind, I decided to knuckle down and give it a good go. For science, you understand.

The best way to describe Frobisher Says? Essentially, it’s Wario Ware with a plummy accent, a top hat and some good old fashioned British eccentricity. You play through a series of random 10-second mini-game scenes, before facing a repeat of the same selection of stages with a much quicker pace. All the while, a camp-sounding posh kid called Frobisher barks orders at you, before making some bizarre quip upon a game’s completion.

Unlike Wario Ware, which used the same controls throughout, you’ll be taking advantage of the many inputs of the Vita to succeed in each game. Instead of a simple two-word command, Frobisher Says gives you an audio command, a more detailed objective at the bottom of the screen and a little Vita icon in the corner highlighting the control input you need to use. You’ll be using the touch screen to slice cactus, flicking between Up and Down on the d-pad to turn a switch on and off, and alternating between the L and R triggers to paddle a boat.

What makes these minigames explode in a fit of colourful wackiness is the scenes that are set around your objectives. A tiger has to paddle his way to an island. Flick the light on and off to make cats appear. Squish the faces of plasticine-made posh boys using the touch screen and rear touch panel. Plug holes in an underground water system to wake up a homeless person on a bench. It’s on a par with Nintendo’s own brand of insanity.

The presentation really adds to the barmy nature of the game - although the looping sound can drag on a little bit, Frobisher’s flamboyantly camp nagging throughout the course of the game is a delight and the early 1900s-style art design never fails to put a smile on your face.

Some games can be a bit awkward to control, and even though you have a prompt at the bottom of the screen it can sometimes be difficult to understand what you have to do. Because of the game’s insistence on using every control input that the Vita has, there are also a number of camera-based minigames that are pretty much pointless to play. Because the Vita’s camera is pretty shoddy.

Frobisher Says is the Hawkin’s Bazaar of video games. It’s wonderfully crazy - a product of pure British nonsense and balderdash. And while for the most part this will entertain you no end, there are other elements of the game that will leave you wanting more. Like a traditional 1930s sweet shop, there will be minigames on offer that you will simply become addicted to, and others that you’ll never want to touch because they bore you or make you sick.

Add-on packs should help keep the Frobisher Says dream alive - and Sony’s move to make the base game free is a sign that there are plans to continue supporting this quaint little experience. We’ve yet to see anything beyond a Day 1 expansion though, and it’s been several months since launch. Let’s see some more, guys!


Pros
Beautifully barmy presentation
Addictive minigames
It’s free! You can’t argue with free.

Cons
Not quite as easy to grasp as Wario Ware
Some games rely on wonky controls
Limited without add-on packs - which aren’t arriving very quickly

SPOnG Score: 7/10