Reviews// Warhawk

First of all, some tedious but necessary detail: SPOnGer’s have been playing Warhawk using a debug PlayStation 3 over a 54-mega bit wireless network. We’ve been running games (you can see us in various SPOnG.com server versions) and so far, we’ve had one network outage. We’ve certainly had no system freezes running on version 1.9 of the firmware.

Right, that’s done, now onto the detail.

Is it a remake of the popular PSOne game of the same name? No, not really - the planes themselves are still there but the star pilots, Hatch and Walker, tough-'talking' Commander Jassic are gone. We also say farwell to evil nutter Kreel. Gone too are video cut-scenes, and sick-twisted text-only dialouge. So, basically, it's got the Warhawk aircraft - and you are now very much the star.

Sure, there’s a plot in there somewhere regarding two sets of opposing forces (Eucadian and Chernovan) but, frankly, it could be The Accounts Department versus Human Resources for all I care. I’m sure there’s something in there about post-apocalyptic dystopian futures but in all good sense, plot and narrative are simply not the point.

The point is that just about everything in the game not only works like a dream - and is so easy to pick up, get to grips with and then have a damned fine time using - but even a total tool like me can get into it.

Warhawk is a multi-player only outing into what I’ve decided is paintballing on a console. Why paintballing (or lazer quest, maybe)? Simple, it makes you laugh and then go, “Ouch!” Everything about the game is good, old, down-home fun that you shouldn’t take too seriously.

And boy, I am bad at this game – and not in a good way. You will discover this if you come and play online - and let’s face it, kids, you can’t seriously play this game any other way. Technically, of course, that’s not true, you can play local games of Warhawk if, for example, your Internet connection has been killed by a billing error. While playing on a standalone PS3 with your four mates is all good fun, it’s rather like playing a game of football in the back-yard when you could be playing at the Camp Nou (Barcelona FC for you non-soccer kicking freaks). This game must be played with as many people as possible all trying to kill you (or splatter you with virtual paint as I prefer to think).

As I said, to me it feels like Über-paintball; that is to say that you get to do your thing with planes, tanks, zippy little jeeps, rocket launchers, flamethrowers, sniper rifles, machine guns, grenades, pistols and knives. Oh, yes, knives.

And here lies the first niggle – remember, this is a critique of a game so there are going to be niggles - ‘The Knife’ is a vicious and incredibly damaging weapon, too damaging in fact.

Here’s a situation for you. You are standing in front of a plane (the eponymous Warhawk), which is hovering in front of you. It is blasting away at you with its nose-mounted machine gun. You are taking hits… you continue to take hits. Eventually you fall over, all ragdoll physics-like, and die, only to respawn armed with a pistol, two grenades and one Knife (note the capitalisation, it’s deliberate). You walk out of a bunker, up behind a geezer who is throwing flames at some other poor soul. One swipe of your knife, and he is no more. One swipe, a single slash – geezer is dead.

Plane + machine gun + lots of shots = you take a while to die and only if you don’t move. Knife + single slash = instantly dead geezer? How does that work? It can be incredibly frustrating to have built up a decent bag of weapons (selectable using your D-Pad), found the ideal sniping position and sighted a bad-guy only to have your life brought to a swift end with a slice of The Knife.

On the other hand, it can be incredibly satisfying to be the person who has spawned two seconds previously and wields the self-same Knife. You also get to collect all the kit that your target leaves behind as he ascends to Warhawk heaven, only to find rebirth in the same battlefield hell.