Oopsy
"We should also mention that possible headlines for this piece included 'Nintendo DS gets RAMmed in the Rear Slot'. So think yourselves lucky."
[b] Nintendo DS gets RAM Beef Injection17/02/2006[/b]
Alas, those headlines that never were…
February got rolling on a slightly unsavoury (if ridiculously predictable) note when Sony artist Josh Robinson got handed his P45 for disrespecting the PS3. Some people thought that shit was wack. We don't know what the f**k he was thinking, to be quite honest.
Adding to the rather sour note that was the start of February, was the racism storm surrounding Activision's GUN. The hero, (and we use this word dubiously) Colton White, is charged with the slaughter and scalping of Native Americans in one of the game's earliest tasks. As pretty much anyone could have anticipated, this prompted an outcry followed by an apology from Activision. Sure, it might have got its ass kicked a bit more than it would in another medium, but seriously, genocide as a subject for gameplay?
By the second week of February we were seeing more conference disappointment as it was confirmed that there wouldn't be a repeat of 2005's presentation of Wii news at the Game Developers Conference. This led to much disgruntled sighing from the industry, as developers and pundits started to get a tad sick of Nintendo's slow drip-feed of Wii announcements.
Something of a hiccup for Microsoft came in the form of Football Manager on the 360. It was looking like the game would be dependant on systems containing a hard-drive to run, despite Microsoft's promises that this would not be the case on any game. Offside, ref! (or something like that).
Then came the warning shot for what would be the greatest disappointment of the year. It became apparent that we Europeans (and our PALs) - citizens of the gaming Third World that we are - would not be seeing a PS3 until March 2007!
The tears came in floods here at SPOnG. The sense of despondency hung over the office like a badly knitted cardigan. The general air of depression was not lessened by the smug grin on our Marcus' face, "Told you so" he taunted. And he had. A lot.
It wasn't all doom'n'gloom though. We saw plans for RAM upgrades to make the DS better cruise t'Internet (see top for pithy remark) for one. We were also soothed for the latter part of the month by the contented purring noise issuing constantly from Adam at the news that the PS3 would probably cost $900 per unit initially for Sony to manufacture. The loss it would be making on each one sold had SPOnG once again meditating in front of our PCs every morning, safe in the knowledge that Karma does exist.
Then of course there was that Stefan Eriksson (formerly of Gizmondo) scandal. Crashing a fraudulently obtained car at 162mph; not the sort of gossip we usually get.
Rounding out that bleakest of months was the trouser-twitch we felt when "news of a Microsoft-engineered portable device" slowly bubbled to the top of the gaming quagmire. All seemed very exciting at the time, but…well, it turned out to not be a games machine at all. Or maybe not.
And some games were released: Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six: Lockdown
And the rather splendid Shadow of the Colossus
Read on for SPOnG's review of March, or look back at January