The list of things that are wrong with Final Fight Streetwise is so long that it could fill a book on how not to design videogames and, after all the amazing titles that Capcom put out in 2005, we’re struggling to believe this was actually made by such a company. It’s almost as if Rockstar had bought the rights to Final Fight and intentionally used it to create a parody of the tired crime genre that has been filling the multiformat shelves for the last five years. Between the gratuitous swearing and needless prostitute beatings, there is very little to actually like here.
What makes this even sadder is that any hardened Capcom fanatics who are unfortunate enough to find themselves playing will probably slog through the game in the hope that they’ll find something that reminds of them of the Final Fight of old. There are plenty of references for those gamers to dig up. Special moves like the Hurricane Kick and Fireball (from Street Fighter II of course) can be unlocked and there are a few extended cameos from Guy and Haggar. The original Final Fight arcade game can also be unlocked, although its lack of animation and glitchy music suggest that it was emulated by evil morons.
None of the above unlockables are worth the pain and embarrassment that comes with playing through the main game but there is another that comes close. Those of you who cannot stand the horrible cutscenes and tedious free-roaming of the Story Mode should turn to Arcade Mode. This is basically Final Fight 3D. You move from left to right and smack about anyone who comes near you.
There’s a two player option and the ability to control all of the classic characters - even SPOnG favourite Haggar, complete with his trademark Spinning Lariat and Piledriver. The aggressive licensed soundtrack is nowhere to be heard, replaced instead by music that was actually written for the game (now there’s a novelty). And, although the move list isn’t as comprehensive as in the Story Mode, it offers an enjoyable few minutes of simple arcade action. It’s nowhere near as fun as the real deal though and doesn’t even come close to touching the underrated Final Fight 3 so it can’t really justify the asking price.
SPOnG rating - D
We’re not entirely sure why Final Fight Streetwise exists. The chav generation who would normally be attracted to the latest gangster rubbish probably won’t know or care about the prestigious brand and those who do will be horrified to see what Capcom has done with it. If you have fond memories of the beat-em-ups of the 16-bit generation then we suggest that you avoid this at all costs - you will regret it.
