Hilarious Sega Theme Park Revealed – Must Read!

Monitoring the progress of Sega over the past five years has been something of a obsession with us, throwing up as it does the most colourful array of lunacy from any games company.

Perhaps in a move aimed at reassuring Sega's fanbase that the company's focus will remain on creating brilliant, innovative new software, the Sonic creator - which incidentally has all of its development and operation decision-making executed by Sammy's Satomi - has announced it is to open a theme park. And a football-themed theme park at that!

Currently slated to open at the beginning of April, the park will be called S-Pulse Dream House, named after the S-Pulse football club. This is all true, by the way - you are not hallucinating.

The S-Pulse Dream House, which we can't wait to visit next time we're in the Mount Fuji area, is serviced by a car ferry. This is no ordinary ferry however. It can't be, it's called the Techno Super Liner Kibou! Rock!

It does sound like a lovely place, though. Here's Shizuoka Prefecture's governor Yoshinobu Ishikawa to explain a little more. "Shizuoka Prefecture is situated almost at the centre of Japan, with Mt. Fuji in the north, and the Pacific Ocean and Suruga Bay to the south. We are blessed with a bounty of beautiful nature, a rich historical and cultural heritage, a mild climate and extremely convenient traffic accessibility." See, we told you. Sounds nice, huh? "Shizuoka Prefecture aims to enhance these characteristics, and we have set our target for regional promotion as the creation of a comfortable environment for residents and tourists in Shizuoka Prefecture."

We can't wait. However, the area does suffer from regular crippling earthquakes. But fear not, all guests are issued with a handy do's and don'ts in natural disasters handbook containing gems such as "Stay calm! If you panic and rush out of the house or your mind just goes blank, you will not be able to react properly. You must be prepared to act calmly," and "Wear shoes to protect your feet from broken glass!"

We've been informed that this will not be the last Sega theme park devoted to a sports club, with several others already being planned right now. However, the availability to ride the Techno Super Liner: Kibou ferry is not guaranteed.

You couldn’t make it up.