Yokel News Media Sparks GTA IV 'FEAR'

Video gaming website SPOnG fears that yokel news outlet, thisislincolnshire, has sparked terror over feeble headline writing regarding 'realistic shoot 'em up game' GTA IV!

SPOnG was staggered to see the headline: "FEARS OVER RELEASE OF VIOLENT VIDEO GAME" splashed across the Lincolnshire source.

We were shocked on reading the story to discover that:

TERROR! "Game Station in High Street is opening its doors at one minute past midnight on April 29 to allow residents to be among the first in the country to play the realistic shoot 'em up game"!!!! (Actual 'Fear Inducing Rating -1/10)

SHOCK! "Blockbusters in Tritton Road is also opening for those who have pre-ordered copies"!!! (Actual 'Fear Inducing Rating -2/10)

HORROR! Frank Mainwaring, of Bits Bytes Boards in The Mall in Upper High Street thinks that, "You can't enforce computer game ratings if the parents don't want to play ball and you can't wield a big stick over the retailers"!! (Actual 'Fear Inducing Rating 1/10)

TREMBLE! Lincoln College student Ash Slawson (16) "doesn't really think it's a problem because I don't believe that it really means people are going to go out and kill someone"!!! (Actual 'Fear Inducing Rating 1/10)

SHAKEN! Were we when we got to the bottom of the story - with it's reader-catching GTA IV trailer ("contains scenes that some people may find offensive") - to discover that no fears had been sparked in anybody at all... anywhere.

We feel the first reader comment on the story really sums up this piss-poor piece of cash-in, mainstream headlining. Says Barry Blower of Monks Rd, "does any one know why the charcoal grill is shutting as stated in the Echo its a great burger?"

Fair play Baz.

Send us references to more feeble attempts by non-gaming media to cash in on GTA IV and we promise not to come over to your house and stick a baseball bat in your... dinner.

^{Source: Yokel News}