Hair Metal Guitar Hero - Tracklist of Shame
Remember all that was bad about the 1980s. Here it comes again.
Oh yes... classic guitar band...
There is an all-pervading sense of ennui and a kind of weird anti-nostalgia feeling in the SPOnG office today. Perhaps it’s Mr Tony Blair’s tearful departure speech on the telly earlier. Perhaps it’s the latest news of Activision’s butchering of the Guitar Hero series with Guitar Hero: Rocks the 80s? Who knows?
We do - this is a travesty of a mockery of a sham!
We took one look over the first list of tracks from the game and it made us remember all the bad things about the decade that liberal politics, fashion and music collectively spat on.
Other than The Smiths, REM, The Cure, New Order and The Happy Mondays of course. But that’s a different argument. For another day.
Oh no, hang on. No it's not. It's an argument for NOW. Where are all those bands, Activision?
Guitar Hero: Rocks the 80s will feature “visually stunning retro rock venues and hipster characters, unlockable guitars, intense game play modes…[and] 30 awesome new songs to experience the ultimate rock star fantasy”
Here’s the first massively disappointing list of tracks:
• I Wanna Rock (by Twisted Sister)
• I Ran (by Flock of Seagulls)
• Round and Round (as made famous by Ratt)
• I Want Candy (as made famous by Bow Wow Wow)
• Metal Health (as made famous by Quiet Riot)
• Holy Diver (as made famous by Dio)
• Heat Of The Moment (as made famous by Asia)
"The 80s features an amazing variety of rock genres from hair metal to punk to new wave, and our dedicated Guitar Hero fans will definitely appreciate the opportunity to play all the new and exciting content we've added," said Dusty Welch, head of publishing at RedOctane… As we delve deeper into the history of rock, we'll continue to offer a fresh experience and even more explosive tracks with the Guitar Hero franchise."
Mr Welch has forgotten some important facts about the history of popular music here. Namely, that punk was a 70s phenomenon and that ‘hair metal’ was generally a term of abuse.
Could it be that we're so totally depressed by this turgid collection of also rans that we have a sneaking suspicion that these tracks have been tacked on as part of a franchising deal?
"You can have War Pig, Search and Destroy and Freebird... but only if you take Dio and A Flock Of Seagulls!"
"Ohhh, okay then... we'll bang out an 80s version and hope no one notices."
Come on Red Octane and Activision, we love Guitar Hero - really we love it, and we recommend that people buy it... but this is a joke and we challenge you to prove us wrong!
And, by the flipping way, just where are the guitar licks on I Ran by the way? Those keyboards that looked like guitars were KEYBOARDS!
We do - this is a travesty of a mockery of a sham!
We took one look over the first list of tracks from the game and it made us remember all the bad things about the decade that liberal politics, fashion and music collectively spat on.
Other than The Smiths, REM, The Cure, New Order and The Happy Mondays of course. But that’s a different argument. For another day.
Oh no, hang on. No it's not. It's an argument for NOW. Where are all those bands, Activision?
Guitar Hero: Rocks the 80s will feature “visually stunning retro rock venues and hipster characters, unlockable guitars, intense game play modes…[and] 30 awesome new songs to experience the ultimate rock star fantasy”
Here’s the first massively disappointing list of tracks:
• I Wanna Rock (by Twisted Sister)
• I Ran (by Flock of Seagulls)
• Round and Round (as made famous by Ratt)
• I Want Candy (as made famous by Bow Wow Wow)
• Metal Health (as made famous by Quiet Riot)
• Holy Diver (as made famous by Dio)
• Heat Of The Moment (as made famous by Asia)
"The 80s features an amazing variety of rock genres from hair metal to punk to new wave, and our dedicated Guitar Hero fans will definitely appreciate the opportunity to play all the new and exciting content we've added," said Dusty Welch, head of publishing at RedOctane… As we delve deeper into the history of rock, we'll continue to offer a fresh experience and even more explosive tracks with the Guitar Hero franchise."
Mr Welch has forgotten some important facts about the history of popular music here. Namely, that punk was a 70s phenomenon and that ‘hair metal’ was generally a term of abuse.
Could it be that we're so totally depressed by this turgid collection of also rans that we have a sneaking suspicion that these tracks have been tacked on as part of a franchising deal?
"You can have War Pig, Search and Destroy and Freebird... but only if you take Dio and A Flock Of Seagulls!"
"Ohhh, okay then... we'll bang out an 80s version and hope no one notices."
Come on Red Octane and Activision, we love Guitar Hero - really we love it, and we recommend that people buy it... but this is a joke and we challenge you to prove us wrong!
And, by the flipping way, just where are the guitar licks on I Ran by the way? Those keyboards that looked like guitars were KEYBOARDS!
Companies:
Activision
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Comments
someone 10 May 2007 18:59
1/12
wtf dio is a talented artist.
someone 10 May 2007 19:01
2/12
oh yeah, and free bird and war pig suck a big fat one
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Someone 10 May 2007 23:12
3/12
The Smiths, REM, The Cure, New Order and The Happy Mondays were (are) all great bands with great music(not sure about Happy Mondays) but their music is not really guitar centered and the game is called Guitar Hero. Hair metal was all about soaring guitar work so it just fits in better with the theme of the game probably.
Madville 11 May 2007 06:04
4/12
"Namely, that punk was a 70s phenomenon"
Depends on who you ask. New Wave and hair metal were the popular music at the time. But as always, there was a thriving underground music scene.
Depends on who you ask. New Wave and hair metal were the popular music at the time. But as always, there was a thriving underground music scene.
TimSpong 11 May 2007 08:32
5/12
Someone wrote:
The Smiths, REM, The Cure, New Order and The Happy Mondays were (are) all great bands with great music(not sure about Happy Mondays) but their music is not really guitar centered and the game is called Guitar Hero. Hair metal was all about soaring guitar work so it just fits in better with the theme of the game probably.
Sure, sure... but A Flock Of Seagulls? Asia (The Buggles + Yes)? Bow Wow Wow!?
No Kiss? No AC/DC?
Shame!
PreciousRoi 11 May 2007 09:21
6/12
Yeh, although there are a FEW good ones, (and many more possible) that tracklist looks like teh suck.
If they're adding 'keytar' tracks, they might as well throw in 'Whip It' by Devo, 'Axel F' and some Herbie Hancock.
edit:just heard the guitar solo from 'I Ran' in my head, I think...thats actually got some legit-sounding licks in it...thats all synth? No wait, thats 'Heat of the Moment' I'm thinking of...
If they're adding 'keytar' tracks, they might as well throw in 'Whip It' by Devo, 'Axel F' and some Herbie Hancock.
edit:just heard the guitar solo from 'I Ran' in my head, I think...thats actually got some legit-sounding licks in it...thats all synth? No wait, thats 'Heat of the Moment' I'm thinking of...
Zap 11 May 2007 13:49
7/12
Sounds like you don't like music much. May I remind you that the guitar for Guitar Hero happens to be more like a keyboard than a guitar just in case you haven't noticed.
Dreadknux 11 May 2007 14:07
8/12
Zap wrote:
Sounds like you don't like music much.
Honestly, you wouldn't be saying that if you met the lads in person. They just don't like crap music. Crap is of course relative, but... you know. Some of those bands are pretty shameful. Not really rock and roll is it? Honestly. Personally, I'm somewhat glad grunge bands like Alice in Chains and Nirvana killed the hair metal genre.
Zap wrote:
May I remind you that the guitar for Guitar Hero happens to be more like a keyboard than a guitar just in case you haven't noticed.
What, just because there are no strings and the tabs are reduced to buttons? You still press the buttons to perform chords (similar to a real guitar, but simplified), you still strum, you have the whammy bar, you hold it like a guitar... It's still a guitar, mate. I don't see where you're coming from. Clutching at straws?
Anyway, even if you believe that it is closer to a keyboard, it doesn't escape the fact that it's supposed to be a guitar. It'd be called "Not-Quite-A-Guitar-But-More-Like-A-Keyboard Hero" wouldn't it?
TimSpong 11 May 2007 14:33
9/12
Zap wrote:
Sounds like you don't like music much. May I remind you that the guitar for Guitar Hero happens to be more like a keyboard than a guitar just in case you haven't noticed.
How on earth does it sound like we don't like music much? We're the only site on the bloody Interweb actually to have taken the time to be shocked and disgusted and appalled and nauseated and hurt and downhearted by the track list. If we didn't like music would we have been so cut to the heart? If we didn't love Guitar Hero would we not just have laughed things off?
As for the controller 'argument', eh? I've no idea what keyboards you've ever seen but the GH and GH2 controllers look like the Gibson SG beloved of Angus Young among others.
I don't know if you've noticed but the Pong in Pong doesn't look like a bad smell.
The hedgehog in Sonic The Hedgehog looks nothing like a hedgehog. And none of the players in Pro Evolution Soccer actually play Soccer... they play FOOTBALL!
DoctorDee 11 May 2007 18:33
10/12
There was some f**king cock-on 80s rock. But none of it is listed above.
If the rest of the tracklist reads:
Paradise City (G+R)
Let's Get it Up (AC/DC)
Jump (Van Halen)
Talk Dirty to Me (Poison)
Malibu Beach (Hanoi Rox)
Howling at the Moon (Ramones)
Girls, Girls, Girls (Mötley Crüe)
L'il Devil (The Cult)
I'll show You Something Special (Balaam and the Angel)
Then the eighties will have been saved.
If the rest of the tracklist reads:
Paradise City (G+R)
Let's Get it Up (AC/DC)
Jump (Van Halen)
Talk Dirty to Me (Poison)
Malibu Beach (Hanoi Rox)
Howling at the Moon (Ramones)
Girls, Girls, Girls (Mötley Crüe)
L'il Devil (The Cult)
I'll show You Something Special (Balaam and the Angel)
Then the eighties will have been saved.
PreciousRoi 11 May 2007 22:08
11/12
DoctorDee wrote:
There was some f**king cock-on 80s rock. But none of it is listed above.
If the rest of the tracklist reads:
Paradise City (G+R)
Let's Get it Up (AC/DC)
Jump (Van Halen)
Talk Dirty to Me (Poison)
Malibu Beach (Hanoi Rox)
Howling at the Moon (Ramones)
Girls, Girls, Girls (Mötley Crüe)
L'il Devil (The Cult)
I'll show You Something Special (Balaam and the Angel)
Then the eighties will have been saved.
If the rest of the tracklist reads:
Paradise City (G+R)
Let's Get it Up (AC/DC)
Jump (Van Halen)
Talk Dirty to Me (Poison)
Malibu Beach (Hanoi Rox)
Howling at the Moon (Ramones)
Girls, Girls, Girls (Mötley Crüe)
L'il Devil (The Cult)
I'll show You Something Special (Balaam and the Angel)
Then the eighties will have been saved.
Saving the Eighties is a job for God, so there better be some Motorhead on there...
DoctorDee 12 May 2007 05:21
12/12
PreciousRoi wrote:
Saving the Eighties is a job for God, so there better be some Motorhead on there...
Agreed.
Ah, the Eighties were a difficult time for Mötörhead, what with Fast Eddie's departure. But with Ace of Spades released in 1980, they still managed more classic tracks in that decade than most bands do in a career. I'm for the title track of that album, but there's always Killed by Death, Orgamsatron, Iron Fist, Eat the Rich.
I gotta buy some Mötörhead.