Have a Japanese man write stuff on your game for eBay!

Konami Europe emailed us today to let us know that we most certainly could not have an interview with Hideo Kojima, famed, if slightly grumpy production lead behind the acclaimed Metal Gear Solid series.

As to whether they simply don’t like us (we were recently shockingly overlooked for inclusion on a money-caning car-smashing trip to Dubai) or their entirely justified suspicion that we’d perhaps press the homoerotic angle of Kojima-san’s work we’ll never know.

Though if we decide to assassinate him, driven by vengeance and madness, we know where to do it and when.

You see, Mr Kojima will be signing copies of the sublime (if mildly boring, but still utterly wonderful) Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater in London later this month. Set in the illustrious HMV on Oxford Street, the sneaky one will enhance your eBay values on March 9th, very kind indeed.

For reference, Kojima-san will be the one hiding in a cardboard box in the storeroom throughout the event.