Campaign '84 - Colecovision

Back in the early days of computing, before we all got jaded, and began to believe that there are only two kinds of games, 3D FPSs and Sports Sims, people held the naive belief that almost any subject could be turned into a computer game. The results were often bizarre. Campaign '84 is a perfect example of the kind of game produced in these halcyon days. This basic, and quite uninspiring, maze chase game put you on the US Election campaign, chasing around the outlines of the States themselves after that most important ingredient in American democracy, filthy lucre.

You control a little symbol of either the "Bomb Everything" Republicans, or the "Tax Everyone" Democrats, which you propel around a map of the United states chasing coin symbols. When you capture a coin, a reason will be displayed at the top of the screen for why you earned a campaign donation - realistic reasons like "Helped fat arrogant corporate CEO's retard son to get admitted to Harvard, donates $50,000,000", "Allowed company to drill for oil in poor people's back yard, take $30,000,000" or "Forget this campaign crap, your Cousin at Fox News will pronounce you winner no matter what happens" are eschewed in favour of trite and quaint platitudes such as, "The square dance club said 'you're a real sidestepper and donated $2000", and "Gift from the wildlife club of $900 was given in support of lame ducks and turkeys".

All the time you are chasing campaign donations, a tiny little red "baddy" is chasing after you. Not that you'd know it of course, because that genuine 1983 enemy AI makes it seem as if he's wandering aimlessly around the maze/map.

Clearly, while you are schlepping across the arrow-straight borders of the mid western states, Campaign '84 could be considered harmless fun. But once you try to navigate the Florida panhandle, or the tiny new England states, frustration and anger may begin to mar the experience. more