Dave is 28. Despite professing to love Nintendo like something that he loves like his own mother, until 19 days ago Dave was an Animal Crossing virgin. But this is no longer the case. Dave, AKA Gregg, has now been in the picturesque town of 'The Hood' for 18 days, and now here are his diaries for days 12 to 19.
For diary entry one, click here.
For diary entry two, click here.
For diary entry three, click here.
To be honest, and I'm sure you would agree, I figured that it was time that Gregg had a break. The constant fishing and digging was surely getting to the little fella.
So, the day had come to meet Kapp?n, and head on down to the Island that the ex-mayor told me about.
This Kapp?n bloke is interesting isn?t he? Once he got me in his boat he started giving me advice on dating women, and telling me all his problems. Yet I can?t see Gregg listening to a bloke who lives his life alone on a boat, singing to strangers.
Once we docked at the Island, I got off and spoke to the natives in the arrival shed. They seemed like nice people and I was offered a tour of the island. I passed this time. I?ve always been one to go out and explore instead of doing the touristy thing.
Turns out the tour would have been short anyway. The island is tiny! Honestly, I think the shit museum back at The Hood is larger. But I was determined to make the most of it.
What should I have Gregg do? Relax? Take a swim?
Nope. I decided to rid the ocean of fish. As I flung my line into the ocean I was dreaming of the amount of money I was earning. I couldn?t wait to fill my pockets, head back to The Hood and become a rich man.
I pulled huge fish after huge fish from the sea and Gregg's eyes were rolling $ signs. Once finished I went home and straight to the shop to sell my stock.
50k? 70k? Dare I say 100k?! Within moments I looked like one of those old women on The Antique Roadshow
who thought they had a piece of British history in their hands only to be told that it?s just a shit pot.
A measly 15k? Seriously? All that work for that? I?ve seen better deals in GAME. I told Tommy what I thought of him and left. If only the game would let me smash his stupid, raccoon face in.
Today was a slow day. There?s no doubt about it. A gardening shop opened in the village so I popped in to see what was for sale. Thankfully they had a watering can so I decided to plant a few seeds.
Curious about the powers my new gadget could do, I went around watering everything. My house, other towns people - or ?Hoodites? as I?ve begun to refer to them - even the fucking river looked like it could do with a bit of water.
I also received a present from Nintendo today. They had sent me a squishy machine to deal with the hot weather. I was excited for about a minute and then really hoped Nintendo had sent it with a receipt.
The thing was an eyesore and made a terrible noise. Not only that, it wasn?t interactive so I went straight to the recycling shop and put it up for sale. Hopefully some idiot will buy it. Probably Rasher that letter-ignoring little prick.
I decided that Gregg could really do with a little rest, seeing as he didn?t get any on the Island. So, he popped the TV on and watched some football for the rest of the day.
Not every day has to be spent trying to make a bunch of delirious animals happy.
I?m furious! Gregg?s furious!
Today, after doing my usual chores, I visited the Town Hall to see if I could start a new Town development project. What I haven?t told you is that yesterday the completion of the town clock was rejoiced by the Hoodites and I was branded a hero.
I decided to start another one, then I was set into a fit of rage by finding Isabelle asleep on the job. Shocking behavior from a public sector worker. I mean, what if it wasn?t me that caught her but someone from The Daily Mail
? Someone would have got the sack and it wouldn?t have been Gregg.
Now, I?m a relaxed boss, as is Gregg, but I was fully prepared to put her on a formal warning. Sadly the game never gave me the option. Isabelle, unlike Gregg, could get away with this incompetence just by looking good.
To try and calm down I want for a stroll and came across a tent. Inside was a fortune teller.
Now, I?m a pretty closed-minded person when it comes to this sort of shenanigans but I thought Gregg would like his fortune read. Maybe I need to reconsider my stance on these people.
Within moments we were teleported into space and Gregg?s fortune was read. He was told that he could find good luck within ?Women?s bottoms?
Wide-mouthed, I wondered how this mystical animal could read our minds like that, picking out the one thing that was clearly on both of them. But seeing as how Gregg has yet to get close to the female of any species yet, it looks like his bad luck will continue.
Today was a day to get back to business. I ordered the building of a Dream Suite which would let me see into peoples' dreams. The idea of an Inception
-style adventure was too much for me to handle so it was time to get down to the island.
Today Gregg was playing bug catcher. Bugs seem to be a little harder than fishing. Sometimes the little shits fly away little despite Gregg's best efforts - the whole experience was a bit frustrating. Gregg is a fisherman at heart.
I had conjured up a backstory for the unexpected politician. One day when out on a boat with his Dad in order to catch fish to feed his starving family Gregg had a huge fish on the line.
?Pull and reel son, PULL AND REEL,? his father shouted.
Pull he did, but it was no use. The line snapped and food for the next week swam away. Disappointed, his father turned to him, patted him on the head and simply said ?Don?t worry son, it?s not the end of the world.?
That night, his older brother Justin died of starvation, and although his Dad never mentioned the food that got away Gregg couldn?t help but feel it was his fault when the doctor left the room muttering, ?Just one meal would have saved that kid?s life?.
From that moment on Gregg promised himself that he would become the greatest fisherman the world had ever seen. The story was drifting through his mind as his float dipped under the water.
?Pull and reel.?
What was to appear at the end of the line was something quite incredible. Gregg had caught his first shark.
As he returned to the shop for payment he was blown away. His trip had earned him a total of 50,000 bells and as he stuffed the money into his Mary Poppins' pockets he smiled to himself.
That was for you, Justin.
We?ve all been here. Stumbling through the door after consuming enough alcohol to kill a slightly smaller version of yourself. You?re tired, drunk and not quite ready to go to bed.
Usually I turn to my Xbox 360. FIFA
is my game of choice in these moments. It?s exciting but doesn?t require too much concentration. But fully aware of the fact that I had yet to load up Animal Crossing
during the day, I picked up my 3DS, plugged in my headphones and laid down in bed.
My visit lasted just over a minute. Isabelle filled the screen with her cheery nature and the moment I saw Gregg, I didn?t feel comfortable. They didn?t need to see me like this. They didn?t need to question why Gregg was aimlessly walking into trees and sending drunken messages to the Hoodites.
Ashamed, I closed the console and fell asleep. I wasn?t going to drink and mayor ever again.
The Hoodites were pretty pissed off today.
Apparently something called the ?Bug Off Ceremony? was cancelled and the towns people were really pissed off about it. Everyone Gregg spoke to seemed to have been looking forward to the event that both he and I hadn?t even heard of.
I?m guessing it was an event that took place yesterday while I was obliviously downing a pint. I?m actually annoyed with myself about yesterday. Due to my rather small social life I had let the town down and missed what sounds like an important event. Maybe I should go Tea-total?
The rest of the day was spent bug catching on ?The Island? I went for a swim and got stung by a jelly fish and... well, that was about it.
I must admit this week has been a little uneventful and I?m starting to worry that the game is slowly losing its grip on me. It?s nice enough but everything seems to be out of my reach at the moment. All developments are pretty damn expensive, and seeing as most of my town members are tight shits, I was left with the task of raising the money and single-handedly improving the town.
The problem is, the moneymaking tasks are starting to get a bit tedious. Walking from A to B isn't much fun and catching fish and bugs all day is starting to get old. I?m a little disappointed that you can?t hire towns people and start up a business.
If things don?t pick up next week I?m afraid that my copy of Animal Crossing
might go ET.
Maybe I was grumpy yesterday. Maybe I just wasn?t in the mood to play. Today felt a lot better.
Everything was going against Gregg today. Apparently he was experiencing some awful bad luck. Every time he wanted to jog somewhere he would trip and fall. Had his bad luck arrived a day earlier, I might have given up completely.
Gregg?s only real mate in The Hood is Rasher and even he had some bad news. He was preparing to leave the town, even had a moving out date. Gregg pleaded with him to stay and it worked.
It?s a bit strange to suddenly change your mind on a big decision like that simply because the mayor suggested something.
Anyway, although Gregg seemed to be having a bad day, I wasn?t.
Firstly, unlocking the QR reader in the t-shirt shop meant that I could finally add a bit of class to Gregg. The green blazer was nice but made him look a little bit like a school child. A suit would change things entirely.
But what really made me enjoy my day was heading over to the island for some bug catching and fishing. I was still doing the same tireless routine that I had been doing for the last fortnight but this time it was paying off. By the end of the day I had made myself 200k.
These monotonous tasks might not be getting any more exciting but the need to do them is completely justified if the pay-off is worth it and today it was. By the time I shut my 3DS down, I had paid off the development of the Dream Suite and my loan.
Progress. Just what I needed to suck me back in.
What a magical day. It started with Gregg being approached by a man who immediately made him think of the phrase ?Stranger Danger?.
Look, I?m not going to accuse the bloke of grooming but when you?re offering ?Special Badges? for skills that he can tell that you have simply by looking you over, you really do have to raise suspicions.
Come to think of it, where are the police in The Hood? Have they been run out by the towns people? They all seem pretty straight apart from the drug dealing raccoon Nook.
Maybe the town are expecting me to step up and enforce the law. I?ll be keeping an eye on Phineas.
Today was the grand opening of the Dream Suite. I didn?t know what to expect, but it?s safe to say that it exceeded all expectations.
My new Dream Suite enables Gregg to visit other towns over the internet in a dreamlike state. Before I knew it, Gregg was laying down on the bed in his pyjamas with a big grin on his face as he drifted off to the town called Nintendo.
And what a place it was. As I skipped around the wonderfully laid out town I had visions of a place that I could soon call my own. It was wonderfully landscaped and full of characters that I hadn?t seen before and objects that I could interact with.
I was having the time of my life, looking at memorabilia from the universe of Nintendo, Introducing myself to the people who lived there, but I couldn?t deny that something just didn?t feel right.
After a while of exploring I?d noticed that I was being followed. Not by someone who wanted to catch my attention, but someone who was quite clearly having a breakdown.
My stalker was a man called ?Nintendo? and he was dressed like Luigi.
In this photo you can just see him staring at me from this tree. The tip of his cap is viable and it?s the first glimpse I had of Animal Crossing?s
very own Slender Man
In this one you can see his dead-eyed gaze. Just standing there staring at Gregg as though he didn?t belong there. It was time to wake up.
On the way to my bed I met a man named Wendell. He was supposedly dreaming too, but seeing as this was Gregg?s dream maybe this wasn?t a combination of two people?s minds but more of a character plucked out of the deep and dark brain of Gregg.
He offered designs, ones that could be taken back into the real world and before Gregg could wake up screaming he noticed that one of them was to his taste.
It was a painting of Isabelle, his mildly attractive assistant.
Now If this really was a manifestation of Gregg?s unconscious, then maybe she is more significant to his life than I had assumed. Maybe Isabelle was more than just a co-worker. Maybe Gregg thought more of her than that.
When he woke up he ran to his house and hung the picture on his wall.
Because what girl doesn?t like to go back to their boss?s house only to discover a canvas painting of their face above his bed?