Reviews// Pro Evolution Soccer 2010

The on field action can be stodgy in look as well as feel. No new game engine means that PES has not aged awfully well. Whether the dated appearance means that the game feels stodgy or the converse is true, I'm not sure. The fact is that when I sat down for a game with James SPOnG - a long time PES fan for a lad of his years, recently converted to what we used to call The Evil Empire - he was almost incapable of stifling a yawn audibly wrapped in a guffaw.

Sounds bad, huh? Well, criticisms can be deceptive. I actually still love playing the game. I especially still love the newly interfaced Master League. I can, and have, lived without official this and real-name that; in fact I miss Blackburn Rovers as Lancashire City United (or whatever it was called). So, none of that impressed. Slightly impressive is the circular, three-sectioned Master League interface: Stadium Walk (tedious stuff like saving the game); Club House where you can sort your training and line-up out; Office, where you can sort out money including sponsorship just like in Champ Man or Soccer 2000.

I was going to talk about 'Be a Legend' as well. But frankly, it's not for me. Sure, I gave it a go. If you've not played it, basically, rather than controlling a team of idiots, you control one idiot - yourself - as you attempt to build a reputation for yourself. It's all very post-modern. I consider it more of a mini-game. The idea is that you are presented with a strangely distant camera angle, having designed your head and body; chosen some attributes, slapped on a wrist band or a hat (there is no hat, I am lying) and selected your preferred playing position. You then join whichever team is silly or desperate enough to sign you. You then try to hog the ball from your hapless teammates in order to show the manager, and scouts from bigger clubs how bloody awesome you are. You then remember the 'team play' or 'seamanship' or 'getting on with others' attribute. You then pretend to get on with your teammates by passing to them, complimenting their WAGs, liking their dire choice in R'n'B, and lending them cash for cocaine. Some of that is not true either, the attribute and the passing are.

Be A Legend is for loners.

Master League is for the hardcore. Now you have the choice of giving your team a 'personality' via the Team Style addition. At heart this is supposed to enable you to provide an overall quality to your squad. You know, Bristol Rovers are for example noted for their fluid, attacking elegance - so, you ensure that your team style mirrors this by upping the Position Switch value to 90 for total football, or the Support Range to 80 so all your lads are there for each other in the event that one of the WAGs goes off with Kevin Pieterson. As there is no 'Evil Bastardy' or 'Vileness' switch, I had no way of getting my Athletic Bilboa club to play as Bristol City though. Once you've got all your switches sorted so that your team understands how it's supposed to play, theoretically they should play like that. In reality, I couldn't see much difference.