Features// Girl Gamer: This Week Halo 3

I bum Halo...

Posted 25 May 2007 16:01 by
This week... Xbox action
This week... Xbox action
We are proud to introduce a brand new member to the team in the venusian (as in the Greek archetype of beauty, not the planet) form of our lass Lizzie, who goes by the handle Pocketfrenzy.

So, for the first time, let?s hand over to Lizzie?

I'm Pocket. I'm 24, newly single and living in a tiny attic bedroom dominated by a king-sized bed, surrounded by lizards, consoles and clothes. When the sun shines through the window it covers the room in rainbows.

I drive a VW Polo, 1.4cl. It's bright green with lilac fluffy seat covers, smells like a pub and has various malfunctions, but I have repaired the death seat now. I spend a lot of time in there roaming the country with friends trying to find parties, with varying degrees of success, but we always have fun.

My spare time is spent playing games and spending far too much time on forums during the week and binge drinking at the weekend.

I bought my first games console in February, but my earliest memories are of breaking in to my neighbours' house to play their ZX Spectrum and Atari.

I got to play arcade machines a lot when my Dad used to run a pub (Street Fighter!) and I have always had consoles around the place which friends would leave at mine for sessions. I finally feel like I own my life.

It?s been a very good week in my gaming life. Despite the initial, but inevitable, delay in getting Halo 3 Beta online it was worth the wait! Now, to put this in context, I bum Halo. I bum it hard. Like an over-excited dog in heat, rutting against the telly-box with joy whenever I get the chance to do some co-op and as for LAN ? well ? it?s a three-change-of-underwear event for all the right reasons.

So, you can imagine the ecstasy with which I was overcome when playing the new maps like Valhalla and Snowbound (blood on the snow ? I love the smell of symbolism in the morning!) with new weapons and or new techniques needed for old ones and a whole barrage of new equipment, new vehicles, It?s a true return to form after the somewhat disappointing Halo 2. Graphics seem like they?ll be a bit better too ? none of that ?is that an enemy or a tree?? over-complication that doomed so many maps on Halo 2. I knew that trailer couldn?t be getting me all het up without good cause ? although I do always imagine Master Chief as being Bruce Forsyth now.

I also got a chance to play two games that had come highly recommended ? God Hand and Earth Defense Force (EDF! EDF!).

EDF is just like the rumours say: ?a shite game which somehow pwns!? Unlimited firepower on most weapons (where?s the challenge?), buildings that collapse from a single shot (some severe architectural mismanagement there) and giant insects invading Earth, squirting you with jets of acid from their abdomens making it feel somewhat like an average Friday night in Leeds. However limited its budget, the end result is a game that makes you feel about twelve, with no-frills action only surpassed by the end of Commando. Superb!

My introduction to God Hand came with the phrase ?You NEED to watch these credits.? An unlikely premise upon which to set about taking on a saloon full of blokes, flicking through the slow-mo special moves before kicking enemies into the stratosphere, but one that suits this Kung-Fu Hustle-style lolerama perfectly. Just to reiterate ? you NEED to watch these credits. And check out the Chihuahua racing ? just for the names!

There seems to be a real sense of creativity and epicurean pleasure in the world of gaming at the moment; and like Hedonismbot, I can imagine the good people at Bungie and Sandlot being carried aloft, languishing in the arms of geeks the world over, warbling ?I apologise for nothing!? Total enjoyment, brilliant playability and escapism abounds.

Also, Predator was on TV t?other night. Cut to ribbons, but we can?t have it all, can we?

Actually, with games like these being released seemingly endlessly at the moment, maybe we can.

I?m going down to have a quick word with ITV, with my ebony warhammer. Care to join me?

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Moschops 26 May 2007 08:00
íhola chica! te amo de largo tiempo

this "end of commando" you talk of - is it the rubbish Arny movie which ends with a fat Aussie skewered on a drainpipe or the old capcom shooter that just went back to the beginning when you finished it (on the c64 it did anyhow)
Pocket 26 May 2007 15:51
Oh yes! You know it! Amazing film. Sorry - I'm coming across like an Arnie fan, but those are two wicked films, so I'm not ashamed.

Can't believe I missed the end of that sentence - I do understand the basic principles of grammar, I promise!

Also, I kicked two grown men's asses on KOTH last night. So happy!
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RiseFromYourGrave 26 May 2007 15:57
PreciousRoi 26 May 2007 16:05
Happiness is screaming "Ged tu da choppuh!" while playing Attack and Defend on Calypso Casino...(Rainbow 6 Vegas)
RiseFromYourGrave 26 May 2007 16:07
or feverishly panting the lyrics to long tall sally in a sadistic manner whilst crawling through the undergrowth in FarCry
PreciousRoi 26 May 2007 16:54
Far Cry soundtrack should also include CCR's Vietnam flashback inducing "Run Through the Jungle"...

edit:silly nonfunctional tags in my sig....
Svend Joscelyne 26 May 2007 22:06
Commando is one of my favourite films. Don't you be dissing Arnie. (: It's just about the best 'brainless' action film you can ever hope to watch. "Let off some steam, Bennett!"
Joji 30 May 2007 07:14
Greetings Pockemon, I mean Pocket, nice to have you onboard.

Arnie flicks, Commando is gun porn, Raw Deal and Red Heat are better films than hat shoot em up dot to dot flick. Add the Conan films, then you are talking Arnie film meat.

I have no Far Cry.
ad 30 May 2007 09:47
what's with the pout?
Erhgiez 4 Jun 2007 13:30
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