Reviews// Canis Canem Edit (PS2)

Canis Canem Edit is a game that needs no introduction. Rockstar’s latest adventure has been properly thrust into the public eye due the persistent lynching it’s received by the mainstream media, just by name and premise alone. We have nothing but anticipation for the game, so we don our blazers, scruff our hair (not hard for Svend Tonsorial, Ed) and chew some gum as we head back to the old-school.

You play as a cheeky yet good-natured schoolkid called Jimmy Hopkins, who’s been taken to Bullworth Academy as a last-chance attempt to gain a decent education. From the opening movie alone you get the impression that Jimmy’s a bit of a troublemaker, then again the mother and step-dad aren’t exactly great role models as they sod off on honeymoon for a year while you make the grade. Bullworth is not only the toughest school in the country, it’s also the grimiest and most depressing. From the moment you enter its gates, you’re under strict school rules and you better stick to them.

The graphics in Canis Canem Edit are nothing short of stunning: the main school building is realistic enough to bring back memories of your own education. Jimmy and the many other schoolmates you interact with have tons of character. They spark conversation with one another or appear differently depending on whether they are a nerd or a prep boy. Best of all, the scenery and environments are full of detail, even down to seasonal decorations when you hit Christmas and other festive events.

The soundtrack is just as impressive: little jingles that you might expect to hear when spotting majestic dwarf-men in a children’s fairytale present the majority of the game’s theme. It represents the youthful charm and innocence which are attached to kids like Jimmy. When you pick fights or accept missions, however, the music changes to something a bit more upbeat and engaging. Fighting bullies will bring a blues rhythm to the beat, while prefects who come after you will have the game crack out an awesome Starsky and Hutch-style chase theme.

Prefects will only start hassling you though if you break the rules, one of those rules being, as with any other school, compulsory attendance at lessons. As part of a rigid schedule classes happens twice in each game day; they range from Art to English, with later classes involving Workshop and Photography. Each subject has five lessons, or stages of difficulty, and involves completing a mini-game to advance. In English, you have a list of letters and you must make as many words from them as possible. Gym will test you in games of dodgeball or wrestling. Chemistry has button commands that you must press in time to complete.

If you complete lessons you gain new abilities, like snogging girls for health bonus (just like the good old days), and obtaining items and mischievous weapons like stink bombs (quaint, very quaint) and slingshots (quainter still). Once you complete the five lessons you don’t need to attend the subject again but can if you wish. Upon playing we thought that five compulsory lessons per class might be too few, and that getting used to this kind of ‘restrictive’ schedule could hamper our enjoyment of the game. We ended up acing Chemistry but being stuck on our second lesson of English. We also decided to take a lateral approach, using spare time to complete tasks, and even skipping lessons and avoiding prefects if the situation demanded it.