Reviews// Goldeneye: Rogue Agent

There’s just no getting around the fact that this is a wasted opportunity. In our eyes there are two clear options for the franchise. Either create an immersive adaptation of an existing film, as achieved beautifully with N64 Goldeneye; or do something completely fresh. And if it has to be something totally original, then we want new adventures based on the proper Bond, and that means more than just a generic spy in an FPS. We want Casino Royale flavoured, ruthless, mean old bastard Bond, as he was originally intended. To quote Ian Fleming’s Bond debut “…he lit his seventieth cigarette of the day and sat down at the writing-table with the thick wad of his stake money and winnings […] His last action was to slip his right hand under the pillow until it rested under the butt of the .38 Colt Police Positive with the sawn barrel. Then he slept, and with the warmth and humour of his eyes extinguished, his features relapsed into a taciturn mask, ironical, brutal, and cold.” Now that’s the kind of thing we’re talking about.

Bond’s heritage is rich and complex and lends itself ideally to the video game form. There’s scope to explore Bond’s darker side without tenuously introducing some spuriously conceived ‘rogue agent’ and there are plenty of awesome films we’d love to run around the sets of, via a well-constructed FPS. Rogue Agent doesn’t acknowledge these possibilities and manages to squander all the advantages that the 007 license brings it. That’s bad enough in itself, and is made worse by the fact that now no-one else will be allowed the opportunity to deal with the license properly. As you can tell, SPOnG isn’t happy about that.

At this point, it’s our professional responsibility to tell you about the good bits that temper the disappointment. But you’ll just have to accuse us of being unprofessional and remiss, because there is very little positive to say about this possible Chrimbo number one. If you like bland FPSs without any seasoning and you sort of like Bond, but not enough to be aggrieved by the apathetic treatment of the characters, then you might think that Goldeneye Rogue Agent is vaguely acceptable. But vaguely acceptable, in our eyes, just isn’t acceptable at all, especially in such a strong Q4. Whatever system you may own, you can rest assured there are several better titles than this to choose this Christmas. And Timesplitters Future Perfect is also just around the corner.