Stunning 99 Nights Hi-Def Trailer Inside

Random thoughts also. Head inside

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Sex + Games = Future
Sex + Games = Future
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Q Entertainment has released a stunning high definition trailer of it's Phantogram co-developed hack 'n' slash Ninety Nine Nights, which you can see by clicking here. It's a massive file and is beautifully presented but don't worry as it's sat on a Microsoft server as fat as any former Sega fansite creator and streams beautifully.

We watched the video in order to write some snappy prose to go with its presentation on this page. However, we kind of drifted off as soon as it started playing. The first time we watched, we definitely thought that the in-game bits looked dead good. Then it ended and we discovered we were thinking about what types of food you can buy on a stick. Candy floss, corndogs, kebabs and lollipops we had listed.

So we ran it again. This time we noticed how much Japanese people will probably like Ninety Nine Nights because it's a bit like Dynasty Warriors and they really like that from what we could tell. Then it ended again and we were thinking about the BenQ Joybee EG10.

So we watched it again and realised that the only two points we could make, we'd already made. Though luckily on the third watch, we remembered the release date, currently set for April 20th.

Of course, as a pretentious website, we're not allowed to say that Ninety Nine Nights looks kind of boring and a bit rubbish. You see, it's made by Tetsuya Mizuguchi. And he made Rez, a game in which a stickman shoots things in time to music. And we have to pretend to see genius in Rez because a cabal of writers on pretentious games rags and websites have decreed it to be the case. We do actually really like Rez, especially the version with the free vibrating sex toy. We even considered buying the version with the free 'Trance Vibrator' sex toy add-on from CEX, but the idea of buying second-hand sex toys kind of put us off a little...

We digress. Taking all of this into account, it looks as though Ninety Nine Nights will be the best game of all time. It's made by the acclaimed genius behind Rez, Tetsuya Mizuguchi afterall.

At least we understood Lumines...


RP 13 Apr 2006 09:32
I'll say it for you then. 99 Nights looks incredibly boring.
kid_77 13 Apr 2006 09:51
But Famitsu gave it 37/40. And, like EDGE, if Famitsu like it then it is good.
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jadnice 13 Apr 2006 13:10
I look at this game and all I can think of is falling asleep in from of an xbox360. For some reason game developers for 360 think shinny graphics and multiple enemies on screen at one given time is intuitive and gives an immersive gaming experience...HAHAHAHAHA are they high on crack??

It seems that Microsoft thinks just shouting "HD Era" from coast to coast and talking about graphics, graphics and graphics is enough for real gamers. They better think again.
OptimusP 13 Apr 2006 17:55
37/40 from Famitsu? Hmmm... but i believe Famitsu is slowly loosing it's higly praised Criticism. Like that 40/40 they gave to the Wind Waker... 39 or 38 ok... but a perfect score is maybe just overdoing it a bit for a game that clearly missed a few dungeons.

It's also funny that when MS says their console is the first one or the only it can do it X some other game on another console actually does it first. Happened when MS touted fur-shading as a exclusive Xbox graphical feature and the first game that actually had fur-shading was... Starfox Adventures on the GC.

Now their touting a gameplayexpercience that a game on the PS2 allready achieved...

I hope Reggie kicks J Allard in the nuts at E3... at the MS press conference after Reggie bursts trought a solid brick wall and eats a PSP and other Ninty-fan whishes they want Reggie to do at E3.
config 13 Apr 2006 20:37
Buffering: 20% complete;

Nice tits

Oh, a hundred boring clones - all swarm fighting

Hmm, some tedious FF type attacks

Buffering: 39% complete


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