Solo Gaming like Wanking says former EA Boss

1up play likened to ‘having a Barclays’

Posted by Staff
In a rather shocking display of vulgarity, Electronic Arts' former VP of global online operations, Lars Butler, proclaimed yesterday that multiplayer gaming is the future - and that solo play is the equivalent of treating yourself a ham shank.

For readers who are neither English nor regular subscribers of Viz, let us make this a little bit clearer for you. A former major exec in the games industry has just called most of the gamers in the world wankers. Onanists. Masturbating Chimps.

Butler, now CEO with start-up TWN, told a shocked and stunned audience at a panel discussion focusing on online gaming at California's Churchill Club: "Linear entertainment in single-player is to media what masturbation is to sex. It'll always be there, but it is not the real experience."

Ra Ra Ra... Butler's comments were echoed by Raph Koster, chief creative officer at Sony Online Entertainment, who also reckons online gaming is the bollocks.

"The entire video game industry's history thus far has been an aberration. It has been a mutant monster only made possible by unconnected computers…. The single-player game is a strange mutant monster which has only existed for 21 years and is about to go away because it is unnatural and abnormal." Koster said.

Microsoft’s Ming The Merciless look-alike Peter Moore then waded in with a load more ‘shocking’ quotes about how single player gaming is over including this one: “offline seems primitive at this point."

SPOnG can’t help but feel that Butler, Koster and Moore have some kind of vested interest in the commercial potential of online gaming. Call it a hunch.

wank n.
1. Masturbation. As in "If you have a wank every day you'll go blind".
2. n. Rubbish. e.g. "Don't talk wank".
3. v. To masturbate. As in "My brother wanks all the time and he's got perfect eyesight".

bollocks n.
1. Nonsense; balls, as in: "That's utter bollocks, that is". (cf 'The Bollocks' meaning good)
2. Knackers; balls, as in: "Them's massive bollocks, thems is". See also ballocks.

(Source: Roger’s Profanisaurus)


ozfunghi 10 Feb 2006 21:43
That good, huh?
Joji 10 Feb 2006 23:31
Yeah! Offline gaming isn't cool people. EA decide to tell us this after making so much cash out of us from it. And to call those customers w****rs on top of it. That's rich.

While it may not mean much to them, perhaps they should have a bit more respect for their customers.

Sure, some online gaming is cool, but some of it is also crap, just like anything in life (how many online games have folded before reaching shop shelves?). Some people can't afford to be online, but do they really deserve to be called such because of it. I think not.

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Ditto 11 Feb 2006 10:33
I can't wait for the SPOnG dictionary of videogames!

tyrion 11 Feb 2006 12:03
Joji wrote:
Sure, some online gaming is cool, but some of it is also crap

I refer the discussion to the awful and formulaic multi-player and online elements of most action adventure type games that are designed to be single-player. Crap death matches.

Can you imagine online, multi-player Shadow of the Colossus? Neither can I!

How about God of War? More plausible, but still would be either death match or "kill more bad guys than your opponent" competitions.

Some games are just meant to be played single-player, offline, maybe with spectators.
realvictory 11 Feb 2006 15:25
Based on this, I've decided that watching a movie must be the equivalent of simply reading a porn magazine. Reading a book, then, must be the quivalent of just thinking about porn. Thinking about porn in real life must be equivalent to being totally innocent in gaming!

In reality, it's more like if computer games is like sex, multiplayer games is like dirty group orgies.

In fact, might as well ditch computer games altogether, and simply have sex all the time! Don't let the hassle of the Internet and buying computer games get in your way! That's far more sensible!
Rustman 13 Feb 2006 11:59
Ironic really. There are so many online gamers out there that fit his definition of solo gamers far more precisely.
I'll Eat Your Soul 13 Feb 2006 14:28
What a bunch of "solo gamers" these people are.
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