Yes, it's a slow news day. Yes, it's the lead up to Xmas. Yes, at least we're being honest about it. So, that aside, see how far you can get through this without thinking that you've lost the ability to understand language.
Basically, the University of Louisville lost to Pittsburgh and missed a chance to move into a first-place tie in the Big East standings... in football.
Head coach Charlie Strong of St Louis is not happy - you may be able to tell once you've made your way through the atonal drone and cliché marathon.
He explains, "I said on Tuesday we have guys that miss class because they want to stay (up) all night and play that video game, whatever it was. I didn?t even know what it was, but it?s such a big deal.? That doesn't stop him blaming it though.
According to the Courier Journal, "Strong said he knew it had engulfed the team by hearing players talk about the video game, most simply refer to as MW3, and seeing their posts about it on Twitter."