The Murdoch-owned chip paper, The Sun, is reporting that a youth has been shot in his home in the south London borough of Sydenham, "for his Xbox 360".
Apparently, three armed bandits "burst" into the unnamed victim's house and demanded that he hand over the Xbox 360 (which The Current Bun values at £280, so at least it wasn't a Core). Apparently a fight broke out and a 17-year old raider was stabbed. A gun was placed in the mouth of the victim who was then, in Sun-speak, shot at point blank range.
The organ then reports the local plod as stating: "It’s fortunate the young man who was shot didn’t die.” Shot at point blank range? In the mouth? It's a bloody miracle that the young man didn't die. Or maybe, just maybe the point-blankness of the description is slightly over-stated.
The final piece of Sun wonderfulness is that 'a source' its intrepid reporter spoke with analysed the situation as follows, “You’re talking somebody being robbed and shot in their home for a games console. It’s the sort of thing you’d expect in America, not here. The violence used was extreme.”
A 'source' we spoke to this morning said, "The three desperate criminals had obviously been observing the house for some time and had planned the Xbox 360 raid with precision. I've visited Sydenham and I've got to say that the Xbox 360 is the most valuable piece of property in the entire region. Yes, given the diet that the lads in Sydenham live on it would take three of them to lift the device and its power supply."
Our source is editorial director, Tim, who used to visit Sydenham back in the 1980s. We've no idea who The Sun spoke to.
We called Sydenham police this morning to confirm the story but - seriously now - it wasn't open. So, of course we called the New Scotland Yard press office, the nice young lady there had promised to get back to us with the actual detail.