Between Chiliad to the north and Los Santos to the south lies not only the Alamos Sea, but a vast countryside populated by trailer parks, and airforce base, vineyards, hydroelectric dams, a massive prison, creeks and waterfalls and a lighthouse (there’s always a lighthouse).
It’s a delight to simply take the car out, and you can drive for hours along the winding trails discovering dozens of little sweet touches, yet it feels like there’s something missing. That something, or things for me at least, are other cities, monuments and signature landmarks.
Perhaps the original San Andreas spoiled me, but I wanted to find a San Fierro or a Las Venturas. At least something a bit more impressive than a bunch of one-horse towns and a trailer parks. Plus I wanted an HD revisit to Regular Tom, spewing big and strong, a giant rock cock amidst the canyons or a vast airplane graveyard.
Well, maybe in terms of virtual miles, but it just doesn’t feel that big, and that’s what matters right? Not some fictional currency like “miles”, which really has no meaning in a world where characters could sustain a 20 MPH sprint and cars peg up the highway at a steady 150MPH.
There is no doubt that the world of GTA V is vast, but it’s simply not that vast. Not as vast as I’d been led to expect. To put this in perspective, I drove south to Los Santos airport and plugged in a waypoint to the far north, near Paleto Bay. The GPS reads 8.3 miles. But that’s whatever the game chooses to measure as a”mile”, so I boosted a fast car (an Infernus) and made for a speed run around the freeway that circles the island.
I’d made it up to Mount Chiliad in four minutes and I was back down the east and round the Palomino Freeway, through Los Santos and back where I started in 10 minutes. Being generous, and assuming I clocked an average 120MPH (which I doubt, given the heavy traffic, a wrong off-ramp and my driving skills), that’s a 20 mile round trip. Sure, the freeway doesn’t follow the coast, but I was kinda expecting a bit more.
But what the hell? Size isn’t everything, right? It is, as the small guys say, what you do with it. And GTA V does a great deal with it, and it does very, very well. The sweet touches, the embellishments, the total polish runs through the entire game. You regularly stumble across them; while driving through the hills, you notice the terraced hillsides of the vineyards. While trekking over those hills, the deer startle and flee while the flash of a shadow tells you there are birds circling overhead.
And when you’re not getting your “nature boy” on or carrying out the main missions, there are tons of other things to do, including side missions, random events, activities, mini-games and property/business acquisitions.
Side missions, indicated by a “?” on the map, take a leaf from past GTAs and Red Dead Redemption. You‘ll come across incidental characters who may ask you to do something, or simple just tell you their story. Replace “snake oil salesman” with “paparazzo” and you’ll get idea. Hidden away in these, you’ll find the return of the RAMPAGE. All stand and say, “Yay!”.
Less involved are the random events. Popping-up on your mini-map from time to time, the map will flash and heading to the marker you might find robbery victim. Simply pursue and return it stolen item, or keep the loot for yourself. Alternatively, you might find a security van fuelling up, giving you the opportunity to steal it.
Activities run from rollercoaster rides, which you’re unlikely to do more than once, to visits to the strip clubs, which are downright icky - made more so because you’re encouraged to flirt and touch during private dances to increase how much the women “like” you.
It culminates with an option at the end of the dance of asking them to come home with you. The two times I tried it (just to see what happened, you understand), I was told the girls weren't that easy, but I guess with repeat visits or a bit of “luck”, that might change. Are we to expect Hot Coffee Redux?
Mini-games, as you’ve probably seen in the press build-up, run from tennis, golf, scuba diving and more, such as racing. Each of them could stand alone as perfectly good game. As you might expect, they're kept simple to save on a lengthy learning curve. To give some idea of the depth of these games, here’s how tennis and golf work;
Tennis is a case of getting the ball and hitting one of the return buttons to return, which coupled with a flick of the stick will place the return and add some spin.
Golf has the familiar pull/push on the stick to swing or putt. On the fairway you can choose the type of stroke (normal, power, punch and approach) with the wind speed and direction to consider, and on the green the staple gridlines show the contours.