Features// Halo 4: The Doritos Experience

Posted 2 Nov 2012 11:57 by
Oh, hello. I didn't see you there. You caught me completely by surprise.
Oh, hello. I didn't see you there. You caught me completely by surprise.

Doritos and Mountain Dew have been around for a long time, but not quite like this. With the release of Halo 4 right around the corner, the pair have teamed up to push the envelope in snack-based entertainment. Can it be done? Is the marriage of high fructose corn syrup and ground corn tortilla an experience unmatched?

I took the plunge, at a special event in my girlfriend?s house, supervised by absolutely no-one (my girlfriend was out - probably unwise, there were a lot of sharp objects around), to give you the definitive review.

The Doritos
Delve deeper into the bag, and the broken edges start to show.
Delve deeper into the bag, and the broken edges start to show.
The first thing you notice when opening up the puffy bag of corn chips is just how the contours of the chip are so intricate. Defining. Like every single one was crafted out of love for crisp design. These are Doritos that deserve to be consumed. Eaten.

From the first bite, it?s a quantifiable sensory adventure that tingles the nose and waters the mouth. With each crunch, the cheese mechanics and artificial flavouring effects perfectly complement the Pringles Engine to allow for that ?just can?t stop? addictive play.

However, once you dig deeper into the bag the experience starts to show some rough edges in design. In some cases, there were parts that could only be described as broken. It?s not really much to ask, for a gamer to expect some tighter quality control on something as fundamental as a crisp-eating feature, is it?

It?s also once you start analysing the chip at a deeper level that you realise that the cheesy elements to the design appears to work against its favour. Stick with it though, for there is a payoff at the very end. Being able to breathe out cheesy dust particles at will, after stuffing your face with Doritos, is an immersive 3D affair that dares to go beyond that of its crispy peers. It really is proof of how far this industry has come in regards to snack engineering.

The Mountain Dew
Dew not only tastes great, but also improves your strength.
Dew not only tastes great, but also improves your strength.
Sharp, biting and yet resplendent in flavour, the Mountain Dew side of the experience is one that perfectly goes hand in hand with that of the Dorito. Graphically, it will take your breath away - a cool, fluorescent glow-in-the-dark art style that comforts the soul and yet offers a slight sense of foreboding. What is beyond the visual green veil? Is it radioactive? Will it kill me?

Such daring approaches to snack visuals should be embraced however, not feared. And the sheer depth on offer in just one bottle of Mountain Dew is simply refreshing. And given the series? history, that?s saying a lot. Indeed, Mountain Dew has a richer, deeper, more revered quenching legacy than most competing products, and the Halo 4-branded version lives up to that exceptionally well.

Prepare for some shocking revelations when downing a bottle, though. There are some real twists and turns contained within - perhaps the most surprising of which is the fact that this product isn't actually made out of mountain dew. When you first uncover the truth, you only feel compelled to drink on, fervently trying to reveal the secret to the drink's tantalising taste.

The sheer taste of the drink itself will make your jaw drop at least once - sometimes without you even knowing it! This is a beverage that works on many different levels, and once you notice this you?ll find enough content here that will really make you thirsty for more. Probably why I ended up drinking three bottles of the stuff - that or the Tartrazine.

It has to be said, though, that there are no codes to help boost your Spartan character?s stats in Halo 4 on current UK packs of Mountain Dew. They only seem to offer a contest to win "a trip to Halo 4 HQ". Wherever that is. Is there a big Microsoft-owned shop or amusement park that deals solely with the Halo franchise, then? I can't believe I've not been invited to such a place yet. I'll call my PR contact swiftly after this. I fancy a jaunt.

The Halo 4: Doritos Experience
Doritos, Dew and Halo 4 = Transcendence.
Doritos, Dew and Halo 4 = Transcendence.
After a seven-hour stint playing Halo 4, munching on Doritos and supping on Mountain Dew, I can safely say that this has been an experience that I won't forget. The sugar rush and corn syrup delights truly enhance the Halo 4 experience. Rather than being sat inside Requiem's Core as Master Chief, part of me feels like I?m on Mario Kart's Rainbow Road, bobbing along to 1980s cartoon themes that are frequently getting stuck in my head.

It?s definitely improving my senses too - I?m twitching a lot more than usual, which is good for a game that demands twitch-based play in its extensive multiplayer mode. Indeed, my Halo 4 game is paused as I write this, and my left leg is bouncing up and down uncontrollably. I've only just noticed that. What a silly leg.

While my limbs appear to be getting immersed into the calorific Dorito/Dew experience, my stomach feels very much satisfied with the content on offer here. At the very least, I don't want any dinner right now. Probably not ever - who cares about conventions, anyway? This is where Doritos and Dew come into their own in the highly competitive snack genre - they?re not afraid to break the mould.

There are of course, a few niggles for gamers to consider when plonking down the cash for this experience - largely related to your teeth, which will end up feeling rather rubbery. I wonder if the post-launch experience will be just as much of a buzz - although I'm told that I may have to wait until the morning before I get to see the impact of such additional content. I've no reason to doubt that it will be nothing short of a comforting time.

As it stands right now though, this is a unique journey that is highly recommended for fans of capitalism, high calorie content and snack sweats. They're not the savouries you need, but the savouries you deserve. Urp.

+ Snacking transcendence
+ Impressive visuals
+ Incredible depth

- Rough around the edges
- Your teeth, after a good binge
- Twitchy twitch

SPOnG Score: 1,884 Calories (out of 10)

(Alongside this review, I also reviewed Halo 4 itself. Check out SPOnG?s verdict here.)

Disclaimer: Since writing this, Microsoft announced a further partnership with Pizza Hut in order to throw more Halo 4 marketing shit in your face. As this promotion was not yet ready for release at time of writing, the Pizza Hut version of this experience was not reviewed.

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Chris Carver 2 Nov 2012 12:09
Poor review. Didn't cover the Dew nearly well enough. 3/10. Try harder.
Hogfather 2 Nov 2012 12:30
Last year at Gamefest, Mountain Dew were handing out free bottles to everyone, being a hot day I managed to drink nearly 3 bottles of them in a space of around 3 hours.

Afterwards I felt sick and my heart was in a bit of pain.

Is this whats going to happen when I play Halo 4?
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Captain Clunge the III 2 Nov 2012 13:24
This was a fantastic article XD.
I can't wait to ingest copious amounts of Doritos and Mountain Dew whilst starting the fight anew, surley the solution of luminescent cheese particles coursing through my internal organs will contribute to my dominance of multiplayer.
DrkStr 2 Nov 2012 18:37
This review is so one sided. What about Pringles? What about Rhibena? Poor attempt at industry coverage.
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