Reviews// Alpha Protocol

While performance enhancements leave something to be desired, however, there is a genuine sense that your actions are affecting the narrative. I infiltrated a CIA listening post in Rome, for example, and the fact that I slaughtered a bunch of my fellow Americans (really, I have no idea how I might have been nicer about the whole thing) and my naughty behaviour was referenced at numerous later points and affected the way I interacted with NPCs. That said, without playing through again (which I won't be doing, by the way) and making different decisions, it's difficult to say how much this is genuinely affecting your progress.

But, branching plot paths – awesome!!! Or, they would be if the plot wasn't so entirely incredibly tedious. I mean, double-dealing, shadowy corporations? Has that not been done to death and then done some more? Shadowy corporations are the Dirty Den of the gaming world. They're tolerable if the plot of the game you're playing is an iPad-thin (pointless iPad reference!) excuse for a series of ass-kicking, stuff-exploding, ninja-slicing action sequences. Since you're forced to spend PS3-fat-sized chunks of your game time wading through story and character interactions, however, the plot is like being poked in the eye repeatedly by someone who has that grey muck that builds up in your washing machine on the end of their finger.

To make matters worse, it seems a bit like Obsidian got a bit worried about the fact its 'gritty', 'realistic' espionage plot was a bit dull and decided that it would put the fate of the entire world at stake. Keeping in mind the sober context the feel of the game supplies, it just feels overblown. Anyway, given that the world seems to be a completely boring string of dull locations, an impending apocalypse doesn't feel like a massive incentive to get stuck in.

Oh, and the characters are mostly dull and wooden.

All of that could be redeemed, however, if the stealth/shooting elements worked well.

They don't.

The combat elements are clunky, slow and just not much fun. The cover mechanic doesn't work very well, for starters. Moving from one cover spot to another is easier if you just come out of cover all together and walk, rather than using 'move-handily-from-one-hiding-place-to-another-by-pressing-A' move.

Movement feels turgid.

Even after several upgrades the weapons feel wildly inaccurate.

The level layout and enemy design are just 'meh'.

In some sections, you have to do a mini-game every 16 seconds or so. Mini-games to hack computers, mini-games to pick locks, mini-games to deactivate alarms, mini-games to override door keypads. Mini-games mini-games mini-games mini-games mini-games mini-games mini-games mini-games mini-games mini-games mini-games mini-games mini-games...

Urgh.

Someone told me that you're supposed to be able to play right through Alpha Protocol without killing anyone. Maybe, if you're the gaming equivalent of that deaf dumb and blind kid from that Who song that time AND you've just had your sight restored. Otherwise – sure, you can stealthily evade the security cameras, but sooner or later a guard will spot you and you'll either have to get shot a whole bunch of times while you punch him up or you'll just have to shoot him in the face. Frankly, stealth rarely feels like much of an option.

And to top it all off, it doesn't look particularly nice, either. Thorton often seems to have some kind of weird heat haze around his head, he collapses like some sort of strange mannequin you'd find as a Doctor Who villain and the textures are frequently blurred. Did I mention the design's a bit boring?


Conclusion
If you openly wept at the news of 24's cancellation, you might get something out of Alpha Protocol. The RPG elements are largely functional and there's a genuine sense that you can impact the storyline. That storyline is pretty dry, however, and the characters are wooden and lifeless like a big, dead, boring tree. Add in sub-par shooter elements and there's not a lot to recommend Alpha Protocol.

SPOnG Score: 51%