Awww...
"There are no 'models,' only 'configurations'"
[b]Ken Kutaragi - PS3 Hardware Upgrade Possible08/06/2006[/b]
How very zen…
As the warm days and short nights of summer began to roll in, we delivered you some [url=http://news.spong.com/article/10193]
handy hints[/url] on that age old problem of how to stop your wife/girlfriend breaking up with you whilst you’re busy gaming. The biggest surprise as we got to thinking about it is just how many SPOnG staffers have a significant other to have that problem with…
Of course, it wasn’t long before next-gen hardware slipped back to the forefront of the gaming community’s thoughts, as Ken Kutaragi, chairman of Sony Computer Entertainment, hinted that the PS3 might be upgradeable. “It is clearly a computer... there are no 'models,' only 'configurations'” he claimed. Apple no doubt had a little wee in their undies when they read that.
Further Sony hardware speculation crept out of the rumour mill a few days later when the company innocuously patented some new folding screen technology. Gossip was flying about a new, sleeker and altogether sexier PSP that would allow Sony to better square up to Nintendo on the handheld front. Gossip was all it amounted to, however, as Sony have yet to make anything resembling an announcement of such hardware.
It took Nintendo a few weeks to really grab anyone’s attention in June, but grab it they did with the first hints at the Wii launch line-up. As it turned out, the line-up was a bit wrong. Only six titles were listed and two of them (Metroid Prime 3: Corruption and Wii Dragon Quest) failed to hit the launch window. With over double the number of promised launch titles released, though, who’s complaining?
What was noticeable was the lack of the long-developed Super Mario Galaxy. Seriously, guys, SPOnG managed to start high school, drop its balls, grow body hair, know the touch of a girl for the first time, then leave school again in the space of six years. Surely you can finish a Mario game?
There was also some rumour-mongery about the Wii retro pad harbouring a dark secret. Well, not dark exactly. In any case, it was tosh, so I’m not granting it any more page space, but if you’re curious, follow the link.
In the last days of June, Sony managed to aggravate its haters like chili powder on chaffed testicles, with Sony CEO Howard Stringer telling would-be PS3 buyers “you’re paying for potential”. SPOnG feels that rather than paying for potential, we’d rather pay for a working product, but maybe the consuming public feels differently.
Sony did manage to make potential PS3 buyers feel a touch better when Sony Computer Entertainment America boss Kaz Hirai said, “I think it would be a bit of a stretch to think that we could suddenly turn around and say ‘PS3 Games now $99.99.’” Bit of a sigh of relief there, then. If we were prone to grumbling we might point out that we Brits already pay the current equivalent to $100 USD (£49.99, on titles only costing $69.99 USD) for some games…
Then, just as June was nearly done there was a racist shitstorm. Well, storm isn’t really the right suffix. We’ll go with drizzle. There was a racist shitdrizzle spawning from the blog of PR hungry Alejandro Quan-Madrid, claiming that the baddies in LocoRoco amount to institutionalized racism for their alleged gollywog-esque appearance. We can kind of see his point, but really, can’t he find something better to do?
And… games. SPOnG was pleasantly surprised by the number of releases that hit the shelves for the start of summer. Tellingly, it was a good month for handhelds. Maybe, contrary to popular belief, we gamers do enjoy a bit of sunlight every now and then. On the PSP we saw the cuddly LocoRoco while the Nintendo DS got Dr Kawashima’s Brain Training and New Super Mario Bros. We did, of course, get the opportunity to sit inside and spurn summer with the PS2 port of Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories and Half Life 2: Episode 1 for the PC. An honourable mention goes to Sensible Soccer 2006 on the PC, PS2 and Xbox for no other reason than it hurt us so terribly to see such a piece of crap following all the hype. You can’t tell, but we’re sighing right now.
Read on for SPOnG's review of July, or look back at May