New NES Portable, Bungie's Pimp Game and More

Some people like April Fools Day. But then some people like being tied to a bed by a dwarf and forced to drink his milk enema while enduring clothes pegs on their nipples. Here at SPOnG we like neither April Fools or bum juice. However, that won't stop us cynically publishing a top five April Fools 2006 piece, like the one you're about to read.

SPOnG's favourite rubbish ruse this year is actually, and somewhat annoyingly, quite good. The craaaazy cats at Bungie put out the first images of their new game, Pimps at Sea, an isometric pimp simulator on the high seas. We were very much enamoured by the artwork showing a docking pimp and his cattle, whisking us back to days playing quite rubbish strategy games on our Amigas, wishing no doubt that aside from the three discs Colin gave us filled with four bitmaps of a piece of the worst digitised pornography ever, we had some more captivating mature content for our 16-Bit Commodores.

According to Bungie, 10% of those reading Pimps at Sea fell for it. As did we, though in a falling in love with the concept, rather than falling for the joke kind of way.

We saw a new NES portable crop up in a few places too, with Dark Zero probably netting the best version of an April Fool now in its sixth year. According to the site,



We first heard of a NES adapter for the Nintendo 64 back in 2000, strangely enough on the first of April. A good ruse never dies.

Blizzard spent some time in between perusing Ferrari dealerships to offer to the world its latest expansion, a restaurant chain know as BurgerCraft. “The grand opening of the first BurgerCraft restaurant is set to take place on June 1, 2006 in downtown Los Angeles, California. At BurgerCraft, players will have a chance to truly taste the flavor of Blizzard's games and savor traditional dishes from all the company’s popular game universes. BurgerCraft will be open to customers of all ages and will provide a fun environment for the whole family”

From the official BurgerCraft press release:



Again, we really like this idea and BurgerCraft is a great name for a restaurant chain. Burgers made by craftsmen serving the most delectable mature Angus ground rib, served on focaccia with dwarf spinach and yellow tomatoes. Bah.

One of the more predictable jibes in 2006 was the emergence of Grand Theft Auto: Chicago, an April Fool that duped many a fansite and blog. The success of the scam was the irresistible fanboy lure of a platform exclusive, the fictional update reporting to be in production for the PlayStation 3.

The perpetrators, The GTA Place, comment:



The story is still live on many sites as being a genuine. Good work chaps. Remember to spell check.

The final piece we'll share with you from April 1st 2006 is the Madden 2006 Nude Cheat thought up by our homoerotic at AOL in the United States of America who decided to share with us their very own fantasy of large sweaty naked men:



You see the error? A massive gay Hot Gatorade hack would surely have gathered more momentum.

If we've not washed down 100 sleeping pills with a bottle of vodka and swam as far into the sea as possible by this time next year, we'll get right back onto the April Fools happy horse in 12 months time.