Desperate Housewives - The Videogame

Men the world over groan at Buena Vista announcement.

Posted by Staff
Desperate Housewives is being turned into a videogame. Buena Vista Games Inc. has just announced that a new PC game based on the award-winning and pretty much universally hated-by-men, loved-by-women drama Desperate Housewives is currently in development.

Whilst the news was greeted with a collective groan and world-weary sighs of ?why...why!?? in the SPOnG office this morning, it?s not hard to see why making a video game version of the show is a commercially astute move. Basically put, millions of (mainly) women worldwide religiously watch the show. A sizeable proportion of these women own PCs, and play games. Therefore a sizeable proportion of these women will buy a Desperate Housewives game in which they themselves can pretend to be a new housewife and neighbour in the fictional Wisteria Lane featured on the show. Actually, when put like that, the game might actually turn out okay. Oh god, no, it won?t, will it? It'll most likely be yet another lucrative TV-tie-in/cash-in with gameplay value of minus a million.

However, we will reserve critical judgement on the game until we receive our preview code from Buena Vista Games. Only at that point will we laugh at it and mock girls in an openly sexist manner for having no taste in either TV shows or games. Hello Kitty, the videogame, anybody?

As well as giving players a chance to create their own in-game persona as a rich, spoilt nosey-parker living amongst a bunch of fellow rich, spoilt nosey-parkers, the game will also feature voices and character likenesses from the actual cast. Which kind of goes without saying really. Well, they?re not going to get some duff voice-over actresses in and knock up some rubbish character likenesses which don?t really look like the real world actresses are they? Are they?

So far, Brenda Strong, the actress who voices Mary Alice Young (the show's narrator-from-beyond-the-grave) is the only one to have signed up, and negotiations are going on with other cast members.

Desperate Housewives is being developed by Liquid Entertainment, the studio responsible for PC RTS Dragonshard. Other Desperate Housewives spin-offs include a board game, clothing, ringtones and a cookbook. All ideas on how this might actually work as a game in the forum below please. Before you all start crying.


I'll Eat Your Soul 27 Mar 2006 15:18
I'm a heterosexual male and I enjoyed Desperate Housewives... and I can see how it could work as a game.

Make it a 3D point-and-clicker where you have to solve a new mystery in Wisteria Lane by snooping around your neighbours' pads, interrogating people, hunting for clues and so forth.

If it was scripted properly, with plenty of intertwining storylines and plenty of puzzles to solve, items to find and so forth, it would work well as a sedate game of the old skool LucasArts mould.
DoctorDee 27 Mar 2006 15:21
Disparate Hausfrauen rocks.

This game will rock. I'm going to pre-order it now!

How will it work as a game. SImple, the Sims in Suburbia with bitchy female characters.

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config 27 Mar 2006 15:45
DoctorDee wrote:
Disparate Hausfrauen rocks.
Season one I'd agree 100%, but I've found this second season that it's just getting a bit tiresome; Susan's airheadedness is getting particularly boring.

How will it work as a game. SImple, the Sims in Suburbia with bitchy female characters.

Yep, Sims was my first guess too. Take a formula known to be popular with the ladies, and liberally apply woman-friendly TV franchise.
jordanlund 27 Mar 2006 18:05
I would prefer a "Lost" video game, but in order to have a complete game it would be necessary to give away more information, faster than the TV show producers are allowing on the show.

It would also be cool to play as different characters in their flashbacks. Kind of like what Nintendo did with "Eternal Darkness".

Now that would be a kick-butt game.
DoctorDee 27 Mar 2006 19:10
jordanlund wrote:
I would prefer a "Lost" video game,

Give it time, it'll happen. Maybe not as good as you envisage, but there WILL be a Lost game.

I'll Eat Your Soul 27 Mar 2006 23:28
It's all a level up from the vomit-induction of cash ins like the recent Crazy Frog game.
Zoyd Wheeler 28 Mar 2006 09:07
someone heard you dee -
TwoADay 28 Mar 2006 15:30
config wrote:

Season one I'd agree 100%, but I've found this second season that it's just getting a bit tiresome; Susan's airheadedness is getting particularly boring.

Although I don't watch, I more listen while I'm playing civ 4 or my GBA, I think the show is better than most of the garbage on TV. I don't really know the names of the characters though. Is Susan the one that my wife and I call Skeletor? (you would know if you watch. you just want to throw sandwiches at the poor woman)
kid_77 28 Mar 2006 15:51
I watch it for the high-brow, almost spiritual content:

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