SingStar Rocks! Sony Announces The End of Rock and Roll

Rock music now totally co-opted by The Man.

Posted by Staff
Sony Computer Entertainment Europe has just announced the next version of its popular light entertainment Karaoke game SingStar.

This time however, its not fluffy 80's pop classics they want us to be singing in front of our tellies, but current contemporary indie pop and rock classics. SingStar Rocks! boasts official tracks from Franz Ferdinand, Kasabian, Bloc Party, Razorlight, Nirvana, Stereophonics, Jet, The Subways, Rolling Stones, The Bravery, Blur and many more. Oh, by Christ! Being a camp, gay has-been such as Boy George or George Michael was all well and good, but surely this is taking the whole thing too far?

The first question that pops into SPOnG’s collective mind is this – will young girls buy this? And the second, far more disturbing one is this – does this mark the end of popular music as a genuinely subversive and creative force in western culture?

Speaking to a long-term heavy rock fan and drug abuser earlier, we had our worst fears confirmed. Our source said, after a short coughing fit: “[cough]….the question surely is how can these so called rock bands sell their souls to the man by licensing their tracks to a f***ing karaoke game, man?”


Our drug-addled dreamer went on to add: “Money makes the PlayStation disc go round dude…you know what I’m saying yeah?”.

Whatever. But its certainly a strange idea for a game. Surely no self-respecting rock music fan is going to want to sing his (as its usually 'his') favourite rock song in front of the telly on a Karaoke machine?

The press release goes on, adding to SPOnG's growing sense of misery and general unease: "Featuring 30 fully licensed tracks from global rock sensation The Killers to the heartbreak rock of Snow Patrol, and from one of London's hottest Indie phenomena - Bloc Party to the Courtney Love inspired genius of Hole, SingStar Rocks! delivers a special 'access all areas' pass to the finest in live music."

SingStar Rocks! comes complete with official videos and apparently captures the spirit and energy of the very best gigs, plus claims to give you the chance to experience what it's like to be the headline act.

If players want to also add to this experience by having a nose full of finest Peruvian marching powder and a slutty groupie sucking on their weenie, then perhaps this might also take them even closer to becoming the rock and roll star they've always wanted to be. You could even perhaps win extra points for choking on your own vomit or contracting genital warts. It's your game, add to it as you will.

SPOnG does not advocate drug abuse or abuse of young impressionable girls. We would advise you to visit your local STD clinic if you fear you have been struck down with the clap.

The line-up that's got everyone (nobody) talking reads as follows, with more acts to be confirmed:

Maximo Park: Apply Some Pressure
Hole: Celebrity Skin
Stereophonics: Dakota
The Killers: Somebody Told Me
Snow Patrol: Run
Bloc Party: Banquet
Franz Ferdinand: Do You Want To?
Kasabian: Club Foot
Razorlight: Somewhere Else
Jet: Are You Gonna Be My Girl?
Rolling Stones: Paint It Black
Nirvana: Come As You Are
The Subways: Rock'n'Roll Queen
Bowling for Soup: 1985
The Bravery: An Honest Mistake
Blur: Song 2


fluffstardx 3 Feb 2006 12:41
It's only indie. Hardly heavy music.

There's been plenty of rock tracks already on the series: Born to be Wild and Poison for a start, off the top of my head.

And yes, rock fans do karaoke too. Look at Rock Star:INXS' popularity.
marmaduke 3 Feb 2006 14:45
Since they're all signed to major labels or subsidiaries thereof, it's unlikely they've got a choice as to what happens with their music. If they're really lucky, they'll get paid.

I really don't think Kareoke is a good idea for most of these bands. The last thing these bands need is their lyrics exposed for the rubbish they are when people can read what they're actually singing.
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schnide 3 Feb 2006 14:50
I'm going to buy this. That's all.

You still here?
I'll Eat Your Soul 3 Feb 2006 18:56
Rather than "inspiring" Hole as the press blurb suggests, I thought Courtney Love founded and lead the band.
DoctorDee 3 Feb 2006 19:12
I'd kinda hoped the Nirvana Corporate Rock Whores shirts were ironic.
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