Prepare For the Most Cynical, Turgid News You’ll Ever Read
Frag Dolls do podcast. Not even a joke.
Some folks will tell you that the games industry is a cynical, marketing-driven machine aimed at exploiting any dirty crevice it can sneak a tendril into. This isn’t entirely true, though you could be mistaken for thinking that this is exactly the case with Ubisoft’s news today of a Frag Dolls Podcast.
Say the words out loud. Frag Dolls Podcast. It makes you want to cry. For the luckily uninitiated, the Frag Dolls are a bunch of distinctly average girls assembled to form an entirely contrived online gaming clan. See perhaps the best online review of their work right here.
The idea is that because you’re losers, you’ll see this as an amazing opportunity to interact with actual girls and therefore take a shine to Ubisoft’s online war game offerings which they are paid to play every now and again.
So you see, as far as Ubisoft is concerned, you might not have a girlfriend but you do have an iPod. Or at least have downloaded iTunes, now seemingly a conduit to some of the most cynical marketing the world has ever seen.
Head here to listen to Ubisoft’s made-up gaming clan conduct interviews written by Ubisoft’s PR department. And remember, one day things will be better.
Say the words out loud. Frag Dolls Podcast. It makes you want to cry. For the luckily uninitiated, the Frag Dolls are a bunch of distinctly average girls assembled to form an entirely contrived online gaming clan. See perhaps the best online review of their work right here.
The idea is that because you’re losers, you’ll see this as an amazing opportunity to interact with actual girls and therefore take a shine to Ubisoft’s online war game offerings which they are paid to play every now and again.
So you see, as far as Ubisoft is concerned, you might not have a girlfriend but you do have an iPod. Or at least have downloaded iTunes, now seemingly a conduit to some of the most cynical marketing the world has ever seen.
Head here to listen to Ubisoft’s made-up gaming clan conduct interviews written by Ubisoft’s PR department. And remember, one day things will be better.
Companies:
Ubisoft
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Comments
DoctorDee 4 Nov 2005 16:01
1/13
How, why will things be better?
Things never get better. We just sink further and further into the pit. Each new generation takes the dire dross bequethed it by the last as a baseline, and descends from there.
Things never get better. We just sink further and further into the pit. Each new generation takes the dire dross bequethed it by the last as a baseline, and descends from there.
king skins 4 Nov 2005 17:23
2/13
See perhaps the best online review of their work right here.
So true, although my review would be:
wouldn't, would, wouldn't, wouldn't, would, would, wouldn't
Although they all get extra points for playing games :)
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king skins 4 Nov 2005 17:24
3/13
DoctorDee wrote:
How, why will things be better?
Things never get better. We just sink further and further into the pit. Each new generation takes the dire dross bequethed it by the last as a baseline, and descends from there.
Things never get better. We just sink further and further into the pit. Each new generation takes the dire dross bequethed it by the last as a baseline, and descends from there.
It does get better... just very very very very slowly... the world is a slightly better place than it was in the 1805...
DoctorDee 4 Nov 2005 17:48
4/13
wouldn't, would, wouldn't, wouldn't, would, would, wouldn't
wouldn't, would pay, would, wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't.
DoctorDee 4 Nov 2005 18:03
5/13
king skins wrote:
t better... just very very very very slowly... the world is a slightly better place than it was in the 1805...
There's a reason for this. I drew a graph.
In the 1800s working class people who had made lots of money decided that they were rich enough. And decided to devote their lives and wealth to improving the health, wealth and education of the working classes, and to give everyone a good standard of life.
In the 1900s the grandchildren of these same people decided that it was not possible to be "rich enough" and that it was better to reduce the working classes back to abject poverty, so that they could have three BMWs, a boat they never use, two mistresses and bathe in Cristal champagne.
SPInGSPOnG 4 Nov 2005 18:28
6/13
Some of these girls aren't real Frag Hags.
There are seven of them on the opicture. But only SIX on the official website, what they wrote themselves, using notepad and gurl-pwer, and didn't get UbiSoft's web agency to do.
They are called Brooklyn, Jinx, Katscrotch, Rhoulette, Seppuku and Valkyrie.
Their real names, I bet.
There are seven of them on the opicture. But only SIX on the official website, what they wrote themselves, using notepad and gurl-pwer, and didn't get UbiSoft's web agency to do.
They are called Brooklyn, Jinx, Katscrotch, Rhoulette, Seppuku and Valkyrie.
Their real names, I bet.
config 4 Nov 2005 18:57
7/13
My god, Rod!
You look just like that dude in the Matrix skin. Rock on!
You look just like that dude in the Matrix skin. Rock on!
marmaduke 4 Nov 2005 21:43
8/13
Riotnrrds. Excellent.
Funky 4 Nov 2005 23:23
9/13
http://ukresistance.co.uk/2005/05/frag-dolls-exclusive-review.html
Hahaha that was great.
The second and fifth are wouldn't's though
SPInGSPOnG 5 Nov 2005 08:28
10/13
config wrote:
You look just like that dude in the Matrix skin. Rock on!
It's a blessing and a curse.
A blessing because if I am meeting a woman I met on the Internet for meaning less banter, and hopefully, even more meaningless sex, I can say "Look for the guy out of the Matrix!"
If it develops into a relatioship, I get good banter like "Do you think I am 'the one' for you?"
A curse because occasionally people think I am some stupid, gay bad actor.
Nice skin, BTW.
kid_77 5 Nov 2005 11:31
11/13
Rod Todd wrote:
I can say "Look for the guy out of the Matrix!"
He certainly has a distinct look
Nice ear-ring.
vault 13 6 Nov 2005 16:27
12/13
Did anyone notice the hideous Avril Lavigne-ness to one of them. I don't know who, nor do I care to even look at the other tab I have open with her name cutely written in the Curley-Qs font underneath her picture. They sure do look like hacks, but I cannot say for I have no footage or willingness to find on their gaming prowess. All I know is Avril, Avril-a-likes, Lavignes, Canadian born psuedo-punk-pop stars, Aprils, AAMCOs and so forth are capital UGLY.
Falien 9 Nov 2005 11:22
13/13
How soon before some of them decide to follow "solo" careers, while the rest keep at it for a while with mediocre stuff (since they're upset at being withered), after which a final, tear-filled "goodbye" gaming session...
Kinda obvious, eh Ubi?!?
Kinda obvious, eh Ubi?!?