Of course, anyone who has met any of the SPOnG staff will know that we?re not the types to go for Hello Kitty or anything from Sanrio. We like cars, watching football and drinking continental strength premium lager. Not pink stuff aimed at young girls.
For instance, it?s unlikely that you?ll find a pink Dreamcast Special Edition, boxed with matching pink keyboard and mouse in our possession, just as you?ll never visit one of our houses to find Little Twin Stars bath towels available in the bathroom. We just don?t do that kind of thing. Honest.
This being the case, we have entirely neutral feelings about bringing you these exclusive screens from the incredible-looking...erm, rather completely normal-looking Hello Kitty Roller Rescue for PlayStation 2. As the thought of living in Sanriotown has no impact on us, we?ll impartially tell you a little more about the game. Because, of course, who?d want to live in Sanriotown? I mean it?s not like we?re gay or anything. It?s not like the thought of meeting NPC incarnations of Kiki and Lala from Little Twin Stars would be a dream come true for us. Or anything?
Even the beginning of the press release for Roller Rescue leaves us cold:
Have you ever imagined yourself to be Hello Kitty or any of her group of cool pals? Well now you no longer have to only imagine, you can be Hello Kitty in Hello Kitty Roller Rescue, the first, officially licensed Hello Kitty 3D-action-adventure game, scheduled to be released by Xplosiv Games across Europe on all console formats on September 9th 2005 (RRP £19.99).
Who?d be interested in that? We mean, who would have ever ??imagined themselves to be Hello Kitty or any of her group of cool pals.?? Oh god?
The game is a classic 3D platform affair with two playable characters; Hello Kitty herself and her sidekick, the penguin with attitude (and the best selling cellular phone tag from Sanrio in 2003) Bad Badtz Maru.
Sanriotown has been invaded by the never before heard of King of Block Planet who, as is the tradition, wishes to take over everything and replace the pink wonderfulness with dour grown-up stuff, like factories. It?s up to Kitty to don her roller-skates and thwart his antics. And there?s more:
Back to the press release:
Before she enters Sanrio Town to save all her friends, Hello Kitty needs to do some preparation at home. She needs to pick the right outfit and weapon; her sister Mimmy has provided her with details of the each enemy; and Dr.Keroppi has sent her other useful frontline tips via her computer so that she can save her friends and fight the Block Troop successfully!
You see, the thought of getting to rummage through Hello Kitty?s closets and dressing her up ready for action in Sanriotown leaves us cold. Even if she does weigh as much as three shiny red apples, a fact we overheard some small girls talking about the other day?
Hello Kitty can use coin flowers she earned from the game to buy useful information. Or she can stand in front of the cake machine, and buy chocolate or strawberry cakes to gain more energy and continue on her exciting adventure. Hello Kitty fans can also collect Hello Kitty merchandises through Hello Kitty Roller Rescue. Players can purchase numerous Hello Kitty collectables, such as music, animation?etc. in the game. After the mission is completed, players can even get new outfits and equipments for Hello Kitty!
It?s almost too much.
Roller Rescue is developed by XPEC Entertainment is Japan and will be published by Namco in the US, with Emprire?s Xplosiv label putting it to stores in the UK, with a limey launch date expected for sometime in September.
Enjoy this character profile in the meantime, a piece of writing that left all of us here cold. Not giggling like monkeys with our toes curled in delight. Really.
Name: Kiki, Lala
Birthday: December 24 (They are twins!)
Birthplace: Compassion Planet in Dream Galaxy
Family: their father was an inventor, and their mother, a poetess
Friends: the sun, the moon, the stars, the clouds, and a host of sprites,faeries, and animals
Favorite things: Kiki likes to fish for stars, invent things, and explore for new planets. Lala likes to draw pictures, compose poetry and cook (soups are her forte).
Favorite season: Kiki likes spring and summer best. (He likes to look down on fields of dandelions from his cloud-top perch.) Lala likes fall and winter best. (She loves to write letters to her mother and father while floating in the clear winter sky.)
Expect more on Hello Kitty Roller Rescue, aka Game of the Year 2005 in the coming months.