Nintendo DS: Will The Bear get a hard-on? Plus – Your Chance to Win a Girl!
Launch shenanigans and midnight opening. The DS lands
And will he say fuck? SPOnG received a press release from Nintendo’s PR agency today, informing us that the bear off Bo Selecta! will be appearing to launch the Nintendo DS. The Bear will be appearing at Virgin Megastore on Oxford Street in Big London tomorrow, “…live on stage and sharing his sofa with a bevy of stunning models as he ushers in the next generation of handheld gaming.”
But will he get a hard-on? Given the models and touching angle, SPOnG believes so. What has become of us all?
In other news, Nintendo is planning several midnight openings for the launch of its DS, with the (unfortunately London only) lure of free software ensuring images of queuing and possible self-congratulatory carrier bag waving for the morning rags.
For the tractor driving masses out in the provinces, it would appear that the first person in each store who buys a DS will receive a T-shirt. Or something. “The shopper who is lucky enough to be first through the door at each location will get one of five special Nintendo DS T-shirts indicating that they got a unit first. The next fifty people to purchase a Nintendo DS at each location will get an exclusive I was TOUCHED by Nintendo DS T-shirt to show off to all of their friends.” Ah, now we understand.
Those getting down to the London midnight opening will get their mits on a goody bag, fifty of which are being made available. We also hear that fifty free copies of Mario 64 DS will also be dished out, not bad. And it gets better.
One plucky queueee will get an all-expenses trip to Kyoto and be given a VIP tour of Nintendo’s headquarters where you will you get to meet Shigeru Miyamoto.
Worth the frostbite alone.
The midnight Store openings are on Friday at the following locations:
London 14-19 Oxford Street
Birmingham 41-43 The Pavillion Shopping Centre, 38 the Hight Street
Liverpool 8-9 Tops Plaza, Clayton Square Shopping Centre
Glasgow 235 Buchanan Street
Cardiff 7-9 Capital Arcade, The Capital, Queens Street
But will he get a hard-on? Given the models and touching angle, SPOnG believes so. What has become of us all?
In other news, Nintendo is planning several midnight openings for the launch of its DS, with the (unfortunately London only) lure of free software ensuring images of queuing and possible self-congratulatory carrier bag waving for the morning rags.
For the tractor driving masses out in the provinces, it would appear that the first person in each store who buys a DS will receive a T-shirt. Or something. “The shopper who is lucky enough to be first through the door at each location will get one of five special Nintendo DS T-shirts indicating that they got a unit first. The next fifty people to purchase a Nintendo DS at each location will get an exclusive I was TOUCHED by Nintendo DS T-shirt to show off to all of their friends.” Ah, now we understand.
Those getting down to the London midnight opening will get their mits on a goody bag, fifty of which are being made available. We also hear that fifty free copies of Mario 64 DS will also be dished out, not bad. And it gets better.
One plucky queueee will get an all-expenses trip to Kyoto and be given a VIP tour of Nintendo’s headquarters where you will you get to meet Shigeru Miyamoto.
Worth the frostbite alone.
The midnight Store openings are on Friday at the following locations:
London 14-19 Oxford Street
Birmingham 41-43 The Pavillion Shopping Centre, 38 the Hight Street
Liverpool 8-9 Tops Plaza, Clayton Square Shopping Centre
Glasgow 235 Buchanan Street
Cardiff 7-9 Capital Arcade, The Capital, Queens Street
Companies:
Nintendo
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Comments
TigerUppercut 8 Mar 2005 18:13
1/11
This is an outrage.
fluffstardx 8 Mar 2005 18:15
2/11
A lot of stores are doing a midnight launch; Gamestation's opening at midnight too. Not sure about Game, but possibly...
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tyrion 8 Mar 2005 18:36
3/11
And now we see where the money Nintendo set aside for the DS launch has gone.
Not on TV adverts, although some have been spotted.
Not on Billboard adverts.
Not on lifestyle magazine adverts.
But on hiring a woman to show a lucky DS buyer round Ninty HQ!
For shame, Nintendo, are you that unsure of sales that you need to bribe the, mostly male, gaming fraternity of the UK with the hint of booty (in both senses of the word).
And while I'm at it, 50 copies of Mario?? 50!! With DS games priced at £30, production costs will be about £10 or so. £500 on door prizes? Chuck in a few T-shirts they had left lying around and there you go!
Who wants to bet that the money all went on buying some of Miyamoto-san's time?
Not on TV adverts, although some have been spotted.
Not on Billboard adverts.
Not on lifestyle magazine adverts.
But on hiring a woman to show a lucky DS buyer round Ninty HQ!
For shame, Nintendo, are you that unsure of sales that you need to bribe the, mostly male, gaming fraternity of the UK with the hint of booty (in both senses of the word).
And while I'm at it, 50 copies of Mario?? 50!! With DS games priced at £30, production costs will be about £10 or so. £500 on door prizes? Chuck in a few T-shirts they had left lying around and there you go!
Who wants to bet that the money all went on buying some of Miyamoto-san's time?
kid_77 8 Mar 2005 23:39
4/11
She's not even that nice. Although, I still would.
Ditto 9 Mar 2005 08:33
5/11
I was watching the ad on the Ninty website, and it sucked.
I then saw a shorter ad last night after the last episode of the rather excellent Shameless... that sucked even more.
The worst thing about them is they don't actually tell you what the DS is or why it's good. The "Touch me" slogan with the crap logo doesn't have nearly as much effect as "touching is good". Not enough ads have been shown, too late.
Nintendo really are going to go down the drain unless they start planning effective promotion. Less of this "London is the only market in the UK" s**t and more high-profile ads.
I then saw a shorter ad last night after the last episode of the rather excellent Shameless... that sucked even more.
The worst thing about them is they don't actually tell you what the DS is or why it's good. The "Touch me" slogan with the crap logo doesn't have nearly as much effect as "touching is good". Not enough ads have been shown, too late.
Nintendo really are going to go down the drain unless they start planning effective promotion. Less of this "London is the only market in the UK" s**t and more high-profile ads.
TigerUppercut 9 Mar 2005 10:16
6/11
kid_77 wrote:
She's not even that nice. Although, I still would.
Think about it.
SPInGSPOnG 9 Mar 2005 11:44
7/11
kid_77 wrote:
She's not even that nice. Although, I still would.
That's outrageous, the way you have objectified this girl. You ignore the fact that she is an individual, with her own dreams and aspirations. An intelligent, sentient human being, who has at a relatively young age ascended to a career position that takes her to Japan as part of her job. She will have her own preferences as far as male companty is concerned, and can probably have her pick of eligible, successful suitors.
That said... I would too!
tyrion 9 Mar 2005 13:08
8/11
Adam M wrote:
I was watching the ad on the Ninty website, and it sucked.
Speaking of ads (a little off subject here I admit) has anybody seen a GT4 advert yet? I almost forgot it came out today until I saw it being played on the grabbing machine.
What is it with advertising these days? Hardly any DS ads, no GT4 ones, but THQ is sponsoring the new series of Enterprise for The Punisher!
Are the DS and GT4 enough of "event" releases to warrant the lack of ad spend? Are they relying on word of mouth almost exclusively? Am I just watching the wrong channels? Why hasn't anybody sponsored Mythbusters on Discovery? Is anybody going to sponsor Dead Like Me next week?
config 9 Mar 2005 13:35
9/11
tyrion wrote:
THQ is sponsoring the new series of Enterprise for The Punisher!
Outragious!
They're advertising a BBFC 18 rated game before the the 9pm watershed! They ought to ashamed of themselves!
Is anybody going to sponsor Dead Like Me next week?
I'll give it 1.50 fix!
[pause for effect]
Seriously, though, rumour has it that it's being spondored by P. Loftus & Son. Heh.
warbaby 10 Mar 2005 01:19
10/11
take a close look at that pic... that chick doesnt happen to be pressing herself against a mens jacket, does she?...
O_o
O_o
kid_77 12 Mar 2005 09:51
11/11
TigerUppercut wrote:
A wise man once said, "She is built for impact."
Think about it.
Think about it.
I probably shouldn't... that's why I eventually needed an eye test.