While certain inhabitants of the SPOnG underwater castle who still get entertainment fixes in paper-based form are mightily excited about SEGA's upcoming Iron Man game, there's a lot of mistrust for the armoured Avenger kicking around. We hereby submit this trailer for your consideration in the matter.
Admittedly, it doesn't shed a whole lot of light on his recent antics in the Marvel Civil War. It won't tell you anything about his abuse of Peter Parker's trust in getting him to reveal his identity on national TV. Nor will it inform you on his cloning of Thor (who was once a close ally) that ultimately resulted in the death of Goliath. It also tells us nothing about his shady dealings with imprisoning unregistered superheroes in the Negative Zone. Never mind the fact that he's running S.H.I.E.L.D. now and appears to be going nuts...†
What the trailer below will show you, however, is Iron Man hugging a missile. Clearly, folk who love missiles that much can't be trusted.
† If you find yourself thinking 'Wha' huh?', SPOnG recommends you go buy yourself a copy of Civil War. We also recommend that you get the UK Panini edition. The cover's uglier, but it'll save you a few quid.
When we say, "SPOnG recommends", we actually mean 'Mark SPOnG recommends'. Comics are, after all, for kids. Ed
Admittedly, it doesn't shed a whole lot of light on his recent antics in the Marvel Civil War. It won't tell you anything about his abuse of Peter Parker's trust in getting him to reveal his identity on national TV. Nor will it inform you on his cloning of Thor (who was once a close ally) that ultimately resulted in the death of Goliath. It also tells us nothing about his shady dealings with imprisoning unregistered superheroes in the Negative Zone. Never mind the fact that he's running S.H.I.E.L.D. now and appears to be going nuts...†
What the trailer below will show you, however, is Iron Man hugging a missile. Clearly, folk who love missiles that much can't be trusted.
† If you find yourself thinking 'Wha' huh?', SPOnG recommends you go buy yourself a copy of Civil War. We also recommend that you get the UK Panini edition. The cover's uglier, but it'll save you a few quid.
When we say, "SPOnG recommends", we actually mean 'Mark SPOnG recommends'. Comics are, after all, for kids. Ed
Read More Like This
Comments
InsaneJonny 12 Dec 2007 14:45
1/19
Death to iron man for his role in the civil war.
Until it all turns out to be a result of the skrulls manipulating him, unless he is a skrull but I really doubt that.
Until it all turns out to be a result of the skrulls manipulating him, unless he is a skrull but I really doubt that.
OptimusP 12 Dec 2007 15:01
2/19
I hate next-gen graphics, why cant anyone improve on HL2's subtle balance of realisme, technical achievement and a bucket load of visual expercience.
Why does everyone insist flaring bloom in all of our faces making everything look like it was crafted by play-doh and sprayed with some water on it to make it glisten.
And why do we keep accepting that kind of crap graphics as awesome and realistic?
Why am I alive? Oh belgian beer!
Why does everyone insist flaring bloom in all of our faces making everything look like it was crafted by play-doh and sprayed with some water on it to make it glisten.
And why do we keep accepting that kind of crap graphics as awesome and realistic?
Why am I alive? Oh belgian beer!
more comments below our sponsor's message
Spinface 12 Dec 2007 15:37
3/19
InsaneJonny wrote:
Death to iron man for his role in the civil war.
Until it all turns out to be a result of the skrulls manipulating him, unless he is a skrull but I really doubt that.
Until it all turns out to be a result of the skrulls manipulating him, unless he is a skrull but I really doubt that.
I also doubt that he's been manipulated by the Skrulls in any meaningful way. That would just be far too s**t for words and - in spite of the disaster, nay, abomination, that is 'One More Day' - I don't think Marvel would cop out like that.
While I'm not sure I like Iron Man right now, he's an interesting character for the first time in years (barring the Warren Ellis stuff. Oh, and the Ultimate version. And... Nope. That's all I've got).
InsaneJonny 12 Dec 2007 16:02
4/19
One More Day makes me cry inside, and outside.
And the skrulls are manipulating everyone, who can you trust? For some reason I'm real suspicious of Doc Strange.
Oh and the game looks like a typical movie license game, doubt it'd be amazing, but I'm really looking forward to the movie.
And the skrulls are manipulating everyone, who can you trust? For some reason I'm real suspicious of Doc Strange.
Oh and the game looks like a typical movie license game, doubt it'd be amazing, but I'm really looking forward to the movie.
InsaneJonny 12 Dec 2007 16:02
5/19
One More Day makes me cry inside, and outside.
And the skrulls are manipulating everyone, who can you trust? For some reason I'm real suspicious of Doc Strange.
Oh and the game looks like a typical movie license game, doubt it'd be amazing, but I'm really looking forward to the movie.
And the skrulls are manipulating everyone, who can you trust? For some reason I'm real suspicious of Doc Strange.
Oh and the game looks like a typical movie license game, doubt it'd be amazing, but I'm really looking forward to the movie.
RiseFromYourGrave 12 Dec 2007 16:51
6/19
i dont read many american comics but after reading this article i must say i find it interesting that iron man is actually a bit of a c**t! i thought he was clean cut
Spinface 12 Dec 2007 17:47
7/19
RiseFromYourGrave wrote:
i dont read many american comics but after reading this article i must say i find it interesting that iron man is actually a bit of a c**t! i thought he was clean cut
The guy's a recovering alcoholic and former munitions manufacturer. He looks all clean cut, (at a glance, Bruce Wayne with a 'tash), but dig a little deeper and he's about as big a c**t as superheroes come.
He once saved a passenger jet drunk. Drunk in charge of a high tech suit of flying armour. Is that a crime?
DoctorDee 12 Dec 2007 17:57
8/19
How does Iron Man fly? Clearly he has jet feet. But he doesn't seem to have any control surfaces. Powered as he is, he looks quite unstable, I am sure he would spiral out of control like an early Werner Von Braun experiment.
And where does he store the fuel for his jet feet? I accept that he may be structurally exoskeletal, and have hollow legs... but I still think they would barely contain enough fuel to keep him airborne for longer than it takes to say, "The Tin Man has no heart".
And where does he store the fuel for his jet feet? I accept that he may be structurally exoskeletal, and have hollow legs... but I still think they would barely contain enough fuel to keep him airborne for longer than it takes to say, "The Tin Man has no heart".
PreciousRoi 12 Dec 2007 19:14
9/19
I never was a big comic book guy...not that I don't find some of the stories and characters compelling...I'm just more of a novel guy, I like my words one right after another...but I have a friend who owns a comic book store, so it was kinda hard to ignore 'Civil War'...I was never a big Iron Man fan to begin with...always struck me as pretty hokey...Superman as well...now, Spiderman...or your typical mutant...those appeal to me more. The pseudo-science might not be plausible, in fact lots of it is just as impossible as Superman or Iron Man, it just looks better on paper. I always liked Spiderman, Silver Surfer, Lobo, Beast, Nightcrawler and Colossus...Lobo perhaps merely because it came out when I was hanging out at a comic book store I bought my GW stuff from when I was playing lots of 40K.
But I was troubled on some strange level by Iron Man's role in the Civil War, it made me angry, just thinking about it. So now I'm stuck with a big old cooler full of Iron Man-flavored Haterade, and I read comic books once a year...on Free Comic Book Day...Superheroes shouldn't be dicks like that, 'snot right.
But I was troubled on some strange level by Iron Man's role in the Civil War, it made me angry, just thinking about it. So now I'm stuck with a big old cooler full of Iron Man-flavored Haterade, and I read comic books once a year...on Free Comic Book Day...Superheroes shouldn't be dicks like that, 'snot right.
tyrion 12 Dec 2007 19:28
10/19
DoctorDee wrote:
How does Iron Man fly? Clearly he has jet feet. But he doesn't seem to have any control surfaces.
Not to get too anal about it, but I did see what looked like control surfaces in the shoulder blade region early on in that trailer. Not very big I'll agree, but they do seem to be making minor alterations to their position.
RiseFromYourGrave 12 Dec 2007 19:40
11/19
i remember reading an early judge dredd story, i think it was the one when they had the big war with megacity 2, and he piled a load of perps into a ditch and executed them. JD is badass as hell
Spinface 13 Dec 2007 16:20
12/19
DoctorDee wrote:
How does Iron Man fly? Clearly he has jet feet. But he doesn't seem to have any control surfaces. Powered as he is, he looks quite unstable, I am sure he would spiral out of control like an early Werner Von Braun experiment.
And where does he store the fuel for his jet feet? I accept that he may be structurally exoskeletal, and have hollow legs... but I still think they would barely contain enough fuel to keep him airborne for longer than it takes to say, "The Tin Man has no heart".
And where does he store the fuel for his jet feet? I accept that he may be structurally exoskeletal, and have hollow legs... but I still think they would barely contain enough fuel to keep him airborne for longer than it takes to say, "The Tin Man has no heart".
I'm no scientist, but it's my belief that Iron Man manipulates electromagnetic fields in order to steer and avoid getting birds stuck of his faceplate.
As for rocket fuel: he doesn't need that much. He only uses rockets to take off, then flies using his repulsor technology. I'm almost certain that he uses Pym particles to miniaturise the rocket fuel that he does consume.
My primary concern is for the scorch marks he must leave the citizens of New York paying for every time he takes off.
That, and his evil ways.
TimSpong 13 Dec 2007 16:39
13/19
Spinface wrote:
I'm no scientist....
Right, everybody, stop! It doesn't matter. It is fictional. Suspend your bloody disbelief. Move on.
Jebus Cripes on a participle, it's not as if you're talking about Raymond Briggs' The Snowman.
Grow up!
Cheers
Tim
DoctorDee 14 Dec 2007 09:33
14/19
Spinface wrote:
He only uses rockets to take off, then flies using his repulsor technology.
If we leave Tim's miserable old-man bah-humbuggery out of matters, and continue (as we must) to suspend our undisbelief. Your assertion would appear to be at odds with the jets of flaming gas issuing from his feet.
OptimusP 14 Dec 2007 10:25
15/19
Personally i think it's fairy dust taken from two fairies in smallspaces being shaking around constantly within the suit, or grinded unicorn horns, or something else very horrible to go with his evil persona.
Feo Amante 14 Dec 2007 19:24
16/19
HA! Whattya YOU know about loving your missile? Man, if my missile was any bigger, I'D hug it!
PreciousRoi 15 Dec 2007 14:45
17/19
is it really his feet?
perhaps Iron Man subsists on a bean-rich (maybe some broccolli as well?) diet, and produces his jets of flaming gas elsewhere?
they only draw them coming from his feet what with the Comics Code and all...
perhaps Iron Man subsists on a bean-rich (maybe some broccolli as well?) diet, and produces his jets of flaming gas elsewhere?
they only draw them coming from his feet what with the Comics Code and all...
DoctorDee 15 Dec 2007 14:54
18/19
PreciousRoi wrote:
Comics Code and all...
The Comics Code! THAT takes me back. Does it even still exist?
Maybe now it's the Graphic-novel Guidelines, or the Manga Mandate.
According to Wikip(a)edia it still does, though now only DC and Archie are "members".
Here, in all it's glory is the original code it makes for interesting, if anachronistic, reading:
The more fullerer version here is even more entertaining:
Crimes shall never be presented in such a way as to create sympathy for the criminal, to promote distrust of the forces of law and justice, or to inspire others with a desire to imitate criminals.
If crime is depicted it shall be as a sordid and unpleasant activity.
Criminals shall not be presented so as to be rendered glamorous or to occupy a position which creates a desire for emulation.
In every instance good shall triumph over evil and the criminal punished for his misdeeds.
Scenes of excessive violence shall be prohibited. Scenes of brutal torture, excessive and unnecessary knife and gunplay, physical agony, gory and gruesome crime shall be eliminated.
No comic magazine shall use the word horror or terror in its title.
All scenes of horror, excessive bloodshed, gory or gruesome crimes, depravity, lust, sadism, masochism shall not be permitted.
All lurid, unsavory, gruesome illustrations shall be eliminated.
Inclusion of stories dealing with evil shall be used or shall be published only where the intent is to illustrate a moral issue and in no case shall evil be presented alluringly, nor so as to injure the sensibilities of the reader.
Scenes dealing with, or instruments associated with walking dead, torture, vampires and vampirism, ghouls, cannibalism, and werewolfism are prohibited.
Profanity, obscenity, smut, vulgarity, or words or symbols which have acquired undesirable meanings are forbidden.
Nudity in any form is prohibited, as is indecent or undue exposure.
Suggestive and salacious illustration or suggestive posture is unacceptable.
Females shall be drawn realistically without exaggeration of any physical qualities.
Illicit sex relations are neither to be hinted at nor portrayed. Violent love scenes as well as sexual abnormalities are unacceptable.
Seduction and rape shall never be shown or suggested.
Sex perversion or any inference to same is strictly forbidden.
Nudity with meretricious purpose and salacious postures shall not be permitted in the advertising of any product; clothed figures shall never be presented in such a way as to be offensive or contrary to good taste or morals.
PreciousRoi 15 Dec 2007 15:11
19/19
DoctorDee wrote:
...clothed figures shall never be presented in such a way as to be offensive or contrary to good taste or morals.
No Fat Chicks?