SingStar '90s: Full Tasteless Track List Inside

Revisit the cultural wasteland

Posted by Staff
Geri, we've missed you...
Geri, we've missed you...
The relentless SingStar franchise has delivered another blow across the boughs of good taste. It had to happen. It was unstoppable. It's the track listing for SingStar '90s. Yeah, it's baggies, plaid and hypercolour T-Shirts all over again. But this time your girlfriend's going to force you to endure it, and there's nothing you can do.

Gracing our PS2 screens courtesy of Sony will be such '90s icons as The Spice Girls, MC Hammer and Aqua.

As the SPOnG taste team cast our eyes across the track list there were tears as we saw Everybody Hurts on there; sighs as we saw I Want You from Savage Garden rather than Truly Madly Deeply, and cries of “Ripper!” from SPOnG's resident Aussie when he saw Divinyls.

Without further ado, cast your eyes downwards for the full list and a spot of analysis.

All Saints - Never Ever - Rating: Horny
Aqua - Barbie Girl - Rating: Life in plastic, not fantastic
B-52s - Love Shack - Unfortunately, not closed for refurbishment
Barenaked Ladies - One Week - Seven days too long
Billy Ray Cyrus - Achey Breaky Heart - Rating: Cyrus rhymes with virus, 'nuff said
Crash Test Dummies - MMM MMM MMM MMM - "..."
Divinyls - I Touch Myself - Every day
E.M.F. - Unbelievable - Tell us about it
Gin Blossoms - Hey Jealousy - We can't recall this song, and if we did, we prolly wouldn't like it anyway
Lisa Loeb - Stay - Rating: Tasty, in a sensitive way
Mc Hammer - U Can't Touch This - Rating: We won't
Meredith Brooks - Bitch - Rating: Alanis-lite and that was bad enough
M-People - Movin' On Up - Rating: No way no how
Natalie Imbruglia - Torn - Rating: Like a ******'* ****
New Kids On The Block - Step By Step - Rating: Not a patch on Whitney
Nick Cave & Kylie Minogue - Where the Wild Roses Grow - Rating: Confused
Poison - Unskinny Bop - Rating: Mock Rock
Radiohead - Creep - Rating: "y"
REM - Everybody Hurts - Rating: In their ears
Roachford - Only to be with You - Not rated
Savage Garden - I Want You - Rating: Not as much as we want you to f*** off
Seal - Kiss From A Rose - Rating: Legendary
Sir Mix A Lot - Baby Got Back - Rating: Baby should go home
Spice Girls - Wannabe - Rating: Thoroughly poptastic
Spin Doctors - Two Princes - Rate: Two fingers, more like...
Technotronic Feat. Felly - Pump Up The Jam Rating: Cos the marmalade bike has a punctured
The Cardigans - Lovefool - Rating: Hate yoghurt.
The Cranberries - Zombie - Rating: Whiny, pretentious, twaddle
The Cure - Friday I'm In Love - Rating: Sunday, down the clinic!
Wet Wet Wet - Love Is All Around - Rating: So are germs.


hollywooda 5 Jul 2007 08:58
That's Mr Cheese in his Edam Car going to Stilton Ville, via Brie Street..........I thank you!
sue_raas 5 Jul 2007 10:14

F*ck my hat, that's a poor show of tracks. Whither Echobelly, Sleeper and Cata bloody Tonia eh? Bloody Charlatans!
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