Nine Year-Old Gamer Turns Criminal Mastermind

Learned to drive thanks to games, claims mother.

Posted by Staff
Screen from Gran Turismo 4. L-plates not pictured
Screen from Gran Turismo 4. L-plates not pictured
The mother of a nine year-old delinquent blames the PlayStation for his ability to drive stolen cars. The child, who could fairly be described as a criminal prodigy, managed to illegally travel 2100 miles earlier this week.

The day before Semaj Booker, the young mastermind in question, embarked on his odyssey, he got into a high-speed car chase with police, thanks, of course, to driving skills learned in his bedroom using those evil computer games. Booker, who's only four feet, nine inches tall, hopped into a neighbour's still-running car and proceeded to head onto Interstate 5 before being spotted by police.

A 90mph car chase ensued. The chase was called to a stop when Booker tried to take an exit and the engine blew, causing him to coast over a kerb and into a tree. Thankfully, no-one was hurt.

Lacking the resources to do anything else, the authorities released the child to his mother. He proceeded to bluff his way onto a flight from Seattle to Phoenix, giving airport staff the details of a paid, unreserved ticket for the flight. Just how he got this information is unclear.

From Phoenix, Booker managed to get onto a second flight, taking him to San Antonio, Texas. He failed to get onto his third flight to Dallas, where he hoped to see his Grandfather, when airport staff were unconvinced by his story.

The Pierce County, Washington prosecutor has filed three charges against Booker in juvenile court, all relating to vehicle theft.

Several questions spring to SPOnG's mind: 1: If you can't even get on a plane with a medium-sized tube of toothpaste, how's this kid managed it? 2: How does this kid see over the dashboard when he's driving? 3: What game was he playing to get that good at driving? 4: Why isn't he working for the CIA?

SPOnG does not endorse crime in any way, shape or form. It would be remiss of us, however, salute this lad's savvy brand of ballsyness.


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