Can't Wait for Phantom to Make That White Elephant Blunder Buy?

Then the Envizions Evo is for you!

Posted by Staff
Picture = 1,000 words
Picture = 1,000 words
Priced at a mere $679.99, the freshly-announced Envizions Evo enters the home console market on July 12, as a pre-order ready to sit on the Ikea black laminated chipboard entertainment centres in the homes of approximately 23 ill-advised technophiles, every single one of which will cry themselves to sleep until they save enough to buy the PlayStation 3 with a game and a second controller they were too impatient to wait for.

The Evo offers hard drive recordings of live TV and claims to offer 1,600 games on an on-demand basis. However, aside from scattered titles from Eidos and Sierra and a few other companies with supercharged licensing departments, the vast majority of the Evo title roster reads like a bad mobile phone download service: Pirate Poppers, Tino's Fruit Stand, Poker Pop, Don't Get Angry! 2, Zulu Gems etc...

The tech specs offered for the Evo read as follows:

CPU- AMD Athlon 64 3200
L1 Cache 64kb + 64kb
L2 Cache 512 kb
2.0 Ghz.
GPU-Sapphire Radeon X1600 Pro w/HDMI
Twelve pixel pipelines
Core Clock 500 MHz
Memory Clock 800 MHz
Tuner card- Hauppauge with built-in FM radio
RAM- 512 DDR
Storage- 80 gig hard drive
DVD-Rom drive
Akimbo built-in software
(Video on Demand)
Biometric game save and security feature
Digital Media Support-Support for DVD-video, DVD-ROM, DVD-R/RW
Send customize Envizions games to any EVO wireless router.
Many players playing from one master hub.
3-D graphics
Cooling: Customize CoolIT Systems liquid system
Audio- Creative Labs Audigy SE
24-bit Advanced HD
EAX Advanced HD
Supports surround sound 7.1, 6.1 and 5.1
I/O ? Support two 2.0 USB PC ports (in front)
Four rear 2.0 USB ports
On board Ethernet port
Software-Media Center 2005
Physical specs-Width-318mm
High-Definition- Standard-definition and high definition video support

Which isn't really that bad, but isn't really that good. Given some of the desktop PC deals around at the moment though, and the added functionality they afford, the Evo does face something of an uphill struggle. It also faces the problem of being undeniably ugly.

Trick your friends by telling them they can pre-order the latest and greatest thing in home entertainment here. Unless it's an elaborate joke...


Joel Beardshaw 13 Jul 2006 09:54
Those horribly JPG'd images on their site really instil trust in their abilities. But really, you?d have thought they could capture good images of their own product in action.
king skins 13 Jul 2006 10:45
Aren't they just selling this as an enhanced Media Center PC rather than a console?
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Jay 13 Jul 2006 12:28
Joel Beardshaw wrote:
Those horribly JPG'd images on their site really instil trust in their abilities. But really, you’d have thought they could capture good images of their own product in action.

Never mind the image compression, what about the boz-eyed chick on the home page?
horngreen 13 Jul 2006 12:48
I'm just glad they were able to nab the rights to Tinos Fuit Stand. I played Tinos Produce Market back in the 90s and it was sweet. Tinos Hotdog Vendor was quite a letdown I must say although the puzzles involving mustard/relish were very addictive!
jordanlund 13 Jul 2006 17:16
"Don't Get Angry! 2" sounds intriguing. But not allowing BC for DGA1? $@&* that noise! Who the $*%& do they they think they are?!?!?
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